29 October 2007

Why Men Handle Breakups Differently Than Women

When your woman tells you it is over you may be very angry at first. But as time goes by you may begin to wonder what happened and how you can get over the hurt and pain you are feeling. Men handle breakups very badly sometimes. Here are some reasons why that is.

If a man has been in a relationship for one year or more, chances are he has very few men friends that he spends time with anymore. If this describes your situation you are not alone. Women tend to have a large circle of women friends, relatives, and acquaintances that they can turn to when they breakup with their man. Men, on the other hand, tend to have almost no one they can talk to. Men are less likely to talk about the end of their relationship with anyone else and because of this they become very withdrawn. It may be many months before they discuss it with anyone, if ever.

Women show their emotions very easily most of the time. Men would rather discuss almost anything rather than things that are so personal to them. Men will pretend that breaking up with their woman was no big deal but, in reality, they may be on the verge of breaking down at any time. If you are feeling depressed and unhappy about a recent breakup look for someone that you can be open and honest with about how you are feeling. Getting your emotions out will be a big relief to you and help in the healing process.

Men dislike dating and meeting someone new. They would rather stay in a relationship that is not working any more than to have to risk being alone and having to work at meeting someone new. If you have just broken up with someone that was not truly a good match for you try to see it as an opportunity for you to eventually meet the right person to be in a relationship with. It may be hard to even think about that is your breakup happened recently, but know that it is not healthy to stay in a bad relationship.

If your woman has broken up with you, understand that you will probably feel terrible about it for quite a while. That is completely normal. Relationships are not easy. Try to figure out what went wrong so that you will have a better, long lasting relationship the next time around.

Relationships are never easy but you can learn how to have a happy, long lasting love with someone you care deeply about.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Connie_Ragen_Green




24 comments:

joanne macenas said...

"Men dislike dating and meeting someone new. They would rather stay in a relationship that is not working any more than to have to risk being alone and having to work at meeting someone new. If you have just broken up with someone that was not truly a good match for you try to see it as an opportunity for you to eventually meet the right person to be in a relationship with. It may be hard to even think about that is your breakup happened recently, but know that it is not healthy to stay in a bad relationship."

--i dont think this applies to you.

chelle carpiso said...

perhaps we deal with it differently... pero in the end... you'll realize that when you end it with someone or viceversa... many doors and even windows will open for you... not just in love alone but in life

rah oibas said...

People are sometimes forced to do things that they don't like just to keep their sanity.

rah oibas said...

People are sometimes forced to do things that they don't like just to keep their sanity.

rah oibas said...

I think the problem with me is that, I want my windows and doors closed.

maria carla rivera said...

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maria carla rivera said...

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chelle carpiso said...

well, at one point in order to recover we deny the fact that we need to open ourselves to new and exciting opportunities.... everything comes in time... when you are ready even your chimney will be on fire...

jeffrey castro said...

true, true... and what sucks more is that nobody will understand that you need to be sane... they would even think that what you forced to do is one step closer to insanity... haha! well, that's one reason why men do not confide with other people..

chelle carpiso said...

Life is a matter of choice... to be sane or not... is still a choice... and so we can never blame anyone for our actions..... though sometimes... life could really be hard if you have nobody to turn to..... or maybe you can turn to others but you CHOSE NOT TO...

jeffrey castro said...

the fact of the matter remains that nobody will understand you. you choose to be sane yet people judge you for your decisions. you do something for yourself to make you feel better, but you suffer more from their persecution. why? because they never get to feel what you feel unless they are put in the same limbo you are in.

nobody wants to be insane, nobody wants to be alone. true, life is a matter of choice. and happiness will always be a choice. and to be happy, men must choose between lesser evils.

chelle carpiso said...

ang mga baliw na nakadaupangpalad ko mental... at sa iba pang institusyon... karaniwan nabaliw dahil nais nilang takasan ang realidada... maliban sa ilang taong sadyang may organic damage....

to be insane is to escape... its is for those who do not choose to be sane.... kahit gaano pa kasakit ang isang bagay... lagi tayong may parte kung paano ito naganap... when you enter a relationship... YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT IF ONE DAY YOU LOOSE THAT PERSON YOU WILL GET HURT... ano nga ba ang tunay na value ng love? gusto ko ang essay na ito try to read it http://penster.fyi.ph/modules/news/article.php?storyid=1581

ang mga taong mahal natin ay hiram lamang

besides if you stay in a relationship that sucks its you're fault... THAT IS YOU'RE CHOICE... its not that i don't understand men... i do... i really do.... but sometimes YOU JUST HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF

rah oibas said...

some things never come in time.

rah oibas said...

sometimes i don't believe that life is a matter of choice. I think life is matter of chance, everything happens because it just happened to be brought by chance. If you honestly feel that life is a matter of choice, that choice to choose just happened to be brought by a chance. The past the present and the future choices are brought about by destiny that cannot be measured by time.

jeffrey castro said...

insanity, except for the organic kind, is subjective. you can evaluate every person to be sane or not, based on your understanding of all the scenarios, circumstances, and situations intertwined with that very person's acts, and its comparison to your own human experience. that's why people become judgmental, because people want every man's actions to be in accordance to their own standards; you should be like this and like that, and if you're not, you are insane. now we come to a point that "sanity" will no longer become a choice, but a necessity.

"but people will never understand that there is much wisdom in madness." (michel foucault, madness and civilization, 1961)

man's conscious choice to be "insane" in people's eyes is not an escape but an affirmation. you accept the fact that you are hurt, and you are more than willing to go beyond people's standards of sanity to do something about it. to let people trample you and to just wallow in misery after is unacceptable.

if man is no longer happy in a relationship, he should definitely end it. he will just be fooling himself to stay in such relationship and torment himself more. however, a relationship would only last as long as both parties agree on a certain level of understanding. people outside the relationship has no right to ridicule nor judge what kind of relationship people has, since they are not the ones experiencing the joys and the pains of such relationship.

jeffrey castro said...

i dont believe in destiny. i believe in the power of man's will. if you do nothing and wait for your destiny to unfold in front of you, you will attain nothing. but, if your will is strong enough, even you can bend destiny to be in accordance of what you want.

yeah, sometimes choices are predetermined. but still, man is the dynamic actor in every scenario. and the predetermined choices did not come actually by chance but as a result of what you have previously done in your life, dominoed to give you the choices catered. well, i believe in luck though.

chelle carpiso said...

if it is subjective then... you can choose whether to be insane or not... yes it may vary definitely because of individual differences.... to be wise one must learn which may require a very tedious process... a process that maybe PAINFUL.... yes perhaps it is wise to be mad... but for the most part of it, people indulge to be insane in order to escape because they cannot take the pangs of certain events in their lives... THEY JUST GIVE UP... if so wisdom is then wasted.... how can you apply what you have learned if you fall apart because of it?

rah oibas said...

I don't believe in man's will. We are chained puppets of God. He tells us what to do and what will happen. He is the director and the script writer of this dramaturgy called life. Everything we see are props all our ways are acts that would make the audience (society) happy and entertained. Believing that we have free will, is the greatest insult to The Supreme Being. (Of course this is speculation)

jeffrey castro said...

it has been said that nobody wants to be insane. man must do what he ought to do, whether it goes along people's standards or not. the subjectivity lies in the an individual's judgment put together as collective standard. the public sphere becomes negligent of man's ultimate necessity of survival in their justification of their morals. hence, they would say that such wisdom is a waste. however, if we would look at it in a different perspective, wisdom lies in man's affirmation of pain and the enormous desire to overcome it through actions based on survival instinct. simply put, pain devours sanity, wisdom overpowers pain. in the end, the madman is not mad after all. people are just judgmental.

jeffrey castro said...

safe speculation ra! i'm not dogmatic though... hehehe... =)

C. Seamus Ü said...

aahh...hm...kse tol, (seamus, wag ka na makisali jan)
ok ok, si jeff kasi bumanat ng reference eh, subjectivity, choices, man's will, inaantay ko nalang may humirit ng nietzsche eh...ang tatalino nyo shet Ü

jeffrey castro said...

well foucault is a fan of nietzsche... he uses genealogy in deciphering every phenomenon, the difference though, is that foucault uses this tool in understanding individual phenomena in a microcosmic perspective, giving us minute details, while nietzsche uses genealogy in explaining institutional phenomena in a grandscale point of view, a macrocosm.

C. Seamus Ü said...

ayaw paawat.

jeffrey castro said...

ok, ok... sige hinde na...