21 December 2008
13 December 2008
11 December 2008
1. The first rule -- "Don't go to Starbucks!"
2. If you are already in Starbucks, don't order anything.
3. If you have to order, buy the cheapest drink.
4. Milk is healthy and expensive. Ask for a cup of milk and every 5 minutes. Drink all the milk that you can.
5. Get more sugar than you need and bring it home.
6. Get as much tissue as you can, bring it home, or as a reserve in case of "emergency."
7. Get as much stirrer as you can. Use it to play pick up sticks.
8. Starbucks has this policy, that if you are not happy with your drink, they will "make it right." What you have to do, is to drink, 1/4 of your drink and tell the barista you are not happy with the way your drink tastes. Repeat as needed.
9. Use all the condiments. Vanilla powder, choco, cinnamon, etc.
10. Bring your own coffee stealthily placed in a Starbucks tumbler, or any tumbler.
11. Detox. Water is good for you. Drink as much water as you can.
12. Go to the toilet and take a dump.They have clean CRs, take advantage of this.
13. Clean is in.Use as much soap as much as you can in washing your hands.
14. Use as much water in the c.r. as needed.
15. Use the dryer.
16. Take advantage of the air con. Stay as long as you can.
17. Feed your mind. Read everything that is in the magazine stack.
18. Make friends. Get to chat with cute baristas.
19. Take advantage of the parking.
20. (your own suggestion here)
09 December 2008
Last Christmas and New Year, I received a lot of planners. Aside from planners I received as gift, I also had my Starbucks planner, Jollibee planner, Papemelroti planners and planners bought in National Bookstore, etc.
There's a great feeling I get from looking at those aggregate of planners. It gives me this great sense of purpose, of foreseeing goals. It gives meaning to the days ahead.
The sad part is that of all those planners I had, I can only choose one. It's senseless to use a lot of planners. Eventually, I had to let them go.
The Papemelroti planners I gave them away to my friends. My Starbucks planner I gave it to my sister. My Jollibee planner, I gave it to my brother, the executive planner, I gave to my father...
Before the end of the year, I had only one planner left with me. It's a small ugly black planner that was bought in National Bookstore. It is this black ugly planner that helped me plan the days of my 2007. And although it's not everyday that I get to plan my activities in that planner, just having that black ugly planner in my bag is already a big deal for me.
This Christmas and New Year, I hope I get a lot of planners again. Although it's impossible to use them all, and will probably give away most of them anyway; and that I will probably choose another small ugly planner again like i did last year, the fact that I have a lot of planners on my command gives me a great sense of joy.
I read somewhere that there are only three (3) things we need in our lives.
1. someone to love
2. something to do
3. something to look forward to
I like planners because it satisfies number 3.
01 December 2008
30 November 2008
This song is mostly about the pain of knowing that a relationship
isn't what it should be. And how you need to let go and move on but the
relationship you thought you have built with that person still brings
you false hope.
Watch it in YOUtube or somethin'. Enjoy. :)
paramore -- that's what you get
No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score
And why do we like to hurt, so much?
I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here
Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
Hey, make your way to me, to me
And I'll always be just so inviting
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me
Let's start, start, hey!
Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?
That's what you get when you let your heart win!
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
Now I can't trust myself with anything but this
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
29 November 2008
Learning to forget your unhappy past
Friday, 13 July 2007
They say their findings might lead to a way to help people with post-traumatic stress disorder or anxiety to gain control of debilitating memories.
"You're shutting down parts of the brain that are responsible for supporting memories," says Brendan Depue, a neuroscience doctoral student at the University of Colorado who worked on the study.
The concept of memory suppression has been a controversial one among psychologists for a century.
But in this study neuroscientists used brain scans to show that volunteers who have been asked to banish disturbing memories show very specific patterns of brain activity.
Depue and colleagues taught 18 adult volunteers to associate pictures of human faces with pictures of car crashes or wounded soldiers.
They were then shown each face a dozen times and asked to remember or forget the troubling image associated with each one.
When they worked to block a particular negative image, then looked at the face one last time, they could no longer name its troubling pair in about half of the trials, Depue and his colleagues report today in the journal Science.
The researchers used a brain imaging method called functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, which shows the brain's activity in real time, to track what was going on in the brain and obtained usable data from 16 of the 18 people in the trial.
Several steps in the process
In the test, parts of each volunteer's prefrontal cortex, the brain's control centre for complex thoughts and actions, were activated.
This seemed to direct a decrease of activity in the visual cortex, where images are usually processed.
Then the hippocampus, where memories are formed and retrieved, and amygdala, the emotion hub, were deactivated.
Denpue says that memory suppression may have been an evolutionary advantage, say for Stone Age hunters narrowly escaping death while hunting.
"If the hunter became so beleaguered by memories of that incident that he stopped hunting, then he would have starved to death."
The research is still far from being translated to the psychiatrist's office, Depue and others acknowledge.
"In the first place, the stimuli may be unpleasant, but they are hardly traumatic," says the University of California Berkeley's Professor John Kihlstrom, who was not involved in the study.
"My prediction is it won't be as easy to suppress something that's long-standing and personally emotional," Depue says.
People with post-traumatic stress disorder are often troubled for decades by recurring images of a harrowing experience.
Still, patients might practice blocking such memories out of their minds, or at least reducing their emotional sting.
"It might be the case that people with memory disturbances have to gain some control over the memory representation by remembering it [and] trying a different emotional response to the memory before successful suppression," Depue says.
10 November 2008
Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.
What is Anger?
The Nature of Anger
Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Are You Too Angry?
There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?
According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.
People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.
Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"
Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.
Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.
Some simple steps you can try:
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.
Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."
Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.
Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).
Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.
Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.
Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.
Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.
Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.
Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.
Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.
Do You Need Counseling?
If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.
When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.
What About Assertiveness Training?
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.
Sometime ago, me and my friend were talking about the concept of love and the unending theories behind it, and since that time I was taking up Persons and Family Relations, that was her question to me - whether the law speaks of love.
Art. 68 of the Family Code states that:"The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and support"
You may ask these questions - "Why does the law want to meddle with people's relationships?" Where does love begin and where does it end? What if couples DO NOT want to love each other?
In the first place, what does the law know about love anyway? Did law ever fell in love? I wonder if the law ever had its heart broken. It seems that the law presents its views of love as either overly ambiguous or too shallow.
The law seems to speak of love as if it were some compulsory right, such as a right to vote, or as if it were everyone's obligation, such as to pay taxes.
To be sure, love is neither an obligation nor is it a right. No one can be compelled to give love to another if he does not want to. You can either get love or give love for your own personal reasons, but certainly you cannot oblige a person to give it, more so, treat love as a birthright.
Love is learned and can be unlearned. If a person learns or unlearns to love another, it's entirely up to them.
Love is always bound by time. One can only love another up until one, or both, decides not to love each other anymore due to personal reason they may have.
And last, Love as fictitious creation of people may reciprocally be dissolved AT WILL and not by any law's behest.
Although it is the business of the State to preserve social order by protecting the stability of the family as a basic social institution, the State has no right, and is not a party of interest, to the matters of the heart.
Humans, married or not, should NOT be obligated to love each other. Everyone should be free to decide for themselves on what goes on with their relationships because love is always a matter of the will. It is a choice and not an obligation that can be imposed by law.
24 October 2008
For the first time in the history of poker tour, Jeff won! Jeff, with his home court advantage, used his wit and trash talking style to outplay and intimidate the rest of the gang. It was the longest poker match ever recorded in the history of the tourney. Congrats jeff. may one win ka na! Good job. :)
01 October 2008
Teacher: I see your talents have gone beyond the mere physical level. Your skills are now at the point of spiritual insight. I have several questions. What is the highest technique you hope to achieve ?
Lee: To have no technique.
Teacher: Very good. What are your thoughts when facing an opponent ?
Lee: There is no opponent.
Teacher: And why is that ?
Lee: Because the word "I" does not exist.
Teacher: So, continue...
Lee: A good fight should be like a small play, but played seriously. A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready. Not thinking, yet not dreaming. Ready for whatever may come. When the opponent expands, I contract. When he contracts, I expand. And when there is an opportunity, I do not hit. It hits all by itself.
Teacher: Now, you must remember: the enemy has only images and illusions behind which he hides his true motives. Destroy the image and you will break the enemy.
Bruce Lee's Philosophy
By Shawn Olson
Posted on 10.20.02
When Bruce Lee died in 1973, he did not leave this world without making an impact. Beyond his success as a martial arts actor, which was transforming enough to the movie industry in bringing the martial arts genre to life, he was a teacher. The man who played the role of Kato in The Green Hornet and starred in four and a half films was a martial arts instructor, and more—he was a philosopher. He majored in philosophy at the University of Washington. A man who devoured books on a wide range of subjects, from Eastern philosophy to gung fu to psychotherapy, he yearned for knowledge. As he put it, he wanted to express himself, and to express himself honestly. In order to express himself honestly, he had to know himself well. The idea should remind us of Socrates’ admonition, “Know thyself.”
“All knowledge ultimately means self knowledge,” said Lee in an interview. For Lee, “to be a martial artist means also to be an artist of life.”
In Lee’s pursuit of personal perfection, he walked a life of deep philosophy that urged him to seek answers and improvement. Bruce Lee was perhaps the best martial artist because he made himself that way, because he sought answers and resolutions. What set him apart from other martial artists was his understanding of the human dynamics of change. Most traditional martial artists taught a style of fighting that was set in stone—they gave a fixed set of moves and attitudes that defined their specific form of fighting. It reflects a very old form of thought given in Western philosophy in the words of Plato who believed in another realm of eternally static perfection to which we must mold ourselves. In the traditional view, change is imperfect; perfection is sought by denying change any relationship to the deeper, metaphysical reality.
Denying this paradigm, Lee took an objective look at his life, and his art, and sought to improve himself. His success owed to his philosophy in that his growth was not thwarted by the strict dictates of a fixed list of eternal facts. Other martial artists might improve themselves to the standards of a fixed style, but Lee measured himself to the standards of human potential and creation: “Style concludes. Man grows.” This attitude almost made it impossible for someone as dedicated as Lee to not become such a revolutionary master of his art.
Lee wrote, “In the long history of martial arts, the instinct to follow and imitate seems to be inherent in most martial artists, instructors and students alike.”
“Each man,” wrote Lee, “belongs to a style which claims to possess truth to the exclusion of all other styles. These styles become institutes with their explanations of the “Way,” dissecting and isolating the harmony and firmness and gentleness, establishing rhythmic forms as the particular state of their techniques.” The consequence, wrote Lee, was to bypass the purpose of martial arts and create “flowery forms” and “artificial techniques” that become “ritualistically practiced.”
Noting that “real combat is not fixed and is very much ‘alive’,” Lee stated that the “fancy mess” created by ritualizing fighting “is nothing but a blind devotion to the systematic uselessness of practicing routines or stunts that lead nowhere.”
The philosophy promoted by Lee was repugnant to many people already mired in traditional habits of thought. Angry or not, they could not deny the success of Lee. His understanding of martial arts was too profound for traditional views to keep him back.
The logic of Lee’s philosophy, which he uneasily labeled jeet kune do (he was cautious of giving his philosophy a title for fear of its crystallization into yet another style), is quite simple: “The art of Jeet Kune Do is simply to simplify.” The martial artist must ask two questions. 1) What is it that I want to accomplish? 2) What is the quickest, most efficient and effective way to reach my objective?
Lee felt that much of the “fancy mess” in martial arts wasted time and energy, and that styles restricted action. Styles, which lead to specialization, make a person incapable of handling a true master of martial arts. A kick-boxer would be unable to handle a wrestler who had the kick-boxer on the ground. A wrestler would be helpless against a boxer if the boxer kept the wrestler at arm’s reach.
Wrote Lee, “There is a great temptation to exploit favorite strokes to the neglect of most others. While this may bring initial success, it is unlikely to enable one to gain regular results in the highest-class competition. All too soon one’s opponents will find the answer to a limited game; a routine system of defense, for instance, plays into the hands of an observant opponent.”
To that end Lee pushed himself to be a master of every form of martial arts, using whatever was useful and discarding whatever was merely ritual. Only a few months before he died, Lee said, “I am improving and making new discoveries every day. If you don’t you are already crystallized and that’s it.” - http://www.shawnolson.net/a/55/bruce-lees-philosophy.html
25 September 2008
Good does not become better by being exaggerated, but worse, and a small evil becomes a big one through being disregarded and repressed. The shadow is very much a part of human nature, and it is only at night that no shadows exist.
"A Psychological Approach to the Dogma of the Trinity" (1942) In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.286
The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for any kind of self-knowledge.
Aion (1951). CW 9, Part II: P.14
To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. Once one has experienced a few times what it is like to stand judgingly between the opposites, one begins to understand what is meant by the self. Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle.
"Good and Evil in Analytical Psychology" (1959). In CW 10. Civilization in Transition. P.872
We know that the wildest and most moving dramas are played not in the theatre but in the hearts of ordinary men and women who pass by without exciting attention, and who betray to the world nothing of the conflicts that rage within them except possibly by a nervous breakdown. What is so difficult for the layman to grasp is the fact that in most cases the patients themselves have no suspicion whatever of the internecine war raging in their unconscious. If we remember that there are many people who understand nothing at all about themselves, we shall be less surprised at the realization that there are also people who are utterly unaware of their actual conflicts.
"New Paths in Psychology" (1912). In CW 7: Two Essays on Analytical Psychology. P.425
There is a deep gulf between what a man is and what he represents, between what he is as an individual and what he is as a collective being. His function is developed at the expense of the individuality. Should he excel, he is merely identical with his collective function; but should he not, then, though he may be highly esteemed as a function in society, his individuality is wholly on the level of his inferior, undeveloped functions, and he is simply a barbarian, while in the former case he has happily deceived himself as to his actual barbarism.Psychological Types (1921). CW 6: P.III
Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of Western theosophy, but not the confrontation with the shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. "The Philosophical Tree" (1945). In CW 13: Alchemical Studies. P.335
In reality, the acceptance of the shadow-side of human nature verges on the impossible. Consider for a moment what it means to grant the right of existence to what is unreasonable, senseless, and evil! Yet it is just this that the modern man insists upon. He wants to live with every side of himself-to know what he is. That is why he casts history aside. He wants to break with tradition so that he can experiment with his life and determine what value and meaning things have in themselves, apart from traditional resuppositions.
"Psychotherapist for the Clergy" (1932). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.528
10 September 2008
08 September 2008
"In the morning, always start with a warm up. Take note of the basics, rather than the most difficult things. When you start the day, set a side a little bit of time with your instrument. Serious students, specially those who are studying complicated pieces must keep their enthusiasm; try to remember why they started playing the guitar. Do not lose that sense of joy, sense of mystery, sense of fun. That's vital, that's more precious than any technique."
25 August 2008
04 July 2008
26 May 2008
The Signs Are All Around YouBy Stacy D. Phillips Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: May 20, 2008
23 May 2008
The greatness in man consists of trying to be great, and you cannot be great if you demand of yourself to be faultless. Such a ridiculous demand results in isolation and emptiness. The true greatness in any human being lies not so much in not making a mistake as in rising above it. We are all mistake makers, but thank God, we have the power to be mistake breakers. The capacity to rise above a mistake is the beginning of success.
19 May 2008
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16 May 2008
How to Be a Good Friend from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit Have you found yourself pondering how to make that new person in your life be friends with you? Want to get closer and demonstrate your support, loyalty and love to your mates? Read on for ways to be a great buddy and in the process, show your pals how you would like to be treated, too.
1. Be real. Are you trying to be friends with someone to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows? That's not friendship, it's opportunism. Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, rather than being appraised and appropriated by some weird Professor Henry Higgins who thinks he can mold you or who wants you to change for his sake.
2. Be honest. A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends. Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly, don't lie! Lying leads to more lies, and people will eventually figure you out. If you found yourself lying about something, be honest
- go up to them, tell them the truth and how you felt, as well as how you may think they would've felt (explain that you were second-guessing rather than trusting your friendship). Don't be a coward; if you know you were at fault for the whole dilemma, own up. Simply talk about it, hope your friend will forgive you. They'd most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, 'wow!' I have/had an amazing friend by my side.
3. Be loyal.To Your friends first! If your friend tells you something in confidence, don't blab about it to anyone else. Don't talk about your friend behind his/her back. Nobody likes a backstabber. Never say anything about your friend that you would not want to repeat face to face.
Don't let others say bad things about your friend until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story. If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, tell them, "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right. Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this. If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around, because it might not be." You can't play both sides of the fence. Evil is evil and keeping evil secrets can end a friendship.
4. Be respectful. Know the boundaries. Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care - your friend is not sharing this information with just anyone, and may not want to. She shared it with you - and only you, as far as you know. Example: If your friend doesn't want to name her crush, don't push her into it. If she has named her crush, don't tell anyone else. This is just common courtesy anyone and everyone deserves the expectation that you will keep confidences.
5. Watch out for your friend. If you sense that s/he is getting drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the alcohol. Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take his or her keys and/or drive your friend home personally. If your friend begins talking about running away or committing suicide, tell someone about it. This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway. Suggest a help line or professional to your friend. Talk to your and your friend's parents first, before involving anyone else. Exception to this rule: the parents are part of the problem (i.e., abusive, neglectful, alcoholic, drug abusers, etc.) - if this is the case, seek out a trusted teacher or counselor at school, or your parents.
6. Pitch in for friends during times of crisis. If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there. Take notes for your friend in school and give them their homework assignments when they're absent and sick at home. Send cards and care packages. If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral or cook dinner for them. Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let tears roll. Give them a tissue and listen. You don't have to say anything, just be with them.
7. If your friend is going through a crisis, don't tell them everything is going to be all right if it's not going to be. This goes right along with keeping it real. It's hard not to say this sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as they might. Instead, tell your friend that whatever they need, you are there for them. If they need to talk, talk; if they need to sit quietly, sit with them; if they need to get their mind off things, take them to a movie or concert. Give them a hug. You are friends, not strangers, after all. Just stay honest, but upbeat and positive. Even a stranger would most probably appreciate it.
8. Give advice, add perspective. Don't judge your friend, but do advise to stay out of situations where they may harm themselves or others.
Tell him/her how you perceive his/her situation, and what you might do in the same circumstances. Don't be offended if they listen to your advice and then decide to ignore it. Your friend must make his or her own decisions.
9. Give your friend space. Understand if he/she wants to be alone or hang out with other people. Allow it to happen. There's no need to become clingy or needy. Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.
10. Make sure your friend doesn't have to spend a birthday alone. You can hold a party for them (even a surprise party if you can keep a secret) or take them out to dinner and pay for their meal.
11. Have fun. It's not all about bleeding hearts and advice to the lovelorn - or at least, it shouldn't be. Decorate your friend's locker on his or her birthday, have a spa party, host a sleepover, whatever. Join activities with them. There are many different activities in school systems today. Just find a common interest you and your friend share.
12. Never make a promise you know you can't keep. Good friendship is based on trust - if you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage. Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "gee, I'm sorry."
Instead, a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my mom is telling me we are going to my aunt's for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after school - that means I won't be able to make it. I'm so sorry. Can we reschedule?" That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was - or not, whatever. But at least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.
13. Listen to them; you don't have to agree with them - just listen to what they have to say. Make sure they are talking too and you are not just running your mouth. Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about their feelings 24/7. If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, they aren't getting anything out of the friendship. Invite them to share their hearts with you as often as you share yours with them.
14. Watch Their Feelings This is very important to abide by. If your friend has recently broken up or got a bad grade (anything that upsets them) remember to comfort them and help them get through. Also, don't let your friend push you around. If both of you like a certain boy, drop it. if one of you still likes him you should make sure that it is okay with your other friend too.
15. Don't Abuse their generosity or "wear out your welcome" This is the most important of all of the rules.If your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate. Money doesn't have to be an issue. Don't use your friends! Don't let them pay everytime you go out, even if they offer.
Don't help yourself to things at their house without asking, unless you are willing and they do the same at your house. No one wants to be friends with a moocher or feel used.If you borrow something from a friend,take good care of it and then return it without being asked.Also if you end the friendship then you should return any gifts they bought for you. Especially if they gave you any gifts under false pretences. It's proper etiquette. Just like returning an engagment ring if you don't marry the person who gave it to you.
16. Live by the golden rule.always treat a friend as you would want to be treated. If you don't there will be repercussions.Don't do or say anything to them that you wouldn't want done to you. Be there for them through thick and thin as long as they are a TRUE friend to you. Also learn to forgive. If there is an arguement. Truly access yourself and your behavior in the past.Sometimes you should be the one to apologize.
Your previous actions could have led to the situation.
* Good friends:
o are nice to each other.
o Trust each other o share their last piece of gum.
o spend time with each other.
o listen and help each other feel better when they are sad.
o are happy for each other.
o remember each other's birthdays.
o do things "just because"
o keep each other's secrets.
o let each other have other friends.
o give one another the benefit of the doubt.
* Good friends don't:
o steal things.
o ignore each other.
o call each other names.
o stay mad for very long.
o do drugs.
o cancel plans at the last minute to go hang-out with someone else.
o blurt out each other's secrets to other people.
o talk behind each other's backs.
o insist on playing "their way".
o leave each other out on games, or o lie and then lie again about your lie.
* You don't have to spend a lot of money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often hand-made and come from the heart.
* Don't set too many expectations and rules. That's just trapping others in your dimension. Allowing your friendship to evolve and change naturally is really best - it allows your friend to be as unique and individual as you are, and for both of you to enjoy one another in that light.
* If someone is in any difficulty and he/she's behave very angryful to you then don't be angry and try to understand their problems.
* Do not be clingy! This will make someone dislike you right away. If you want to know something about a friend, ask them, not others and the internet.
* Experience for yourself and form your own opinions. Don't just take the shortcut and ask others for theirs, or stereotypically assign that stereotype to anyone. Any person can transcend stereoype be the most wonderful person you've ever met in your life - keep your mind open and form your own opinions.
* Don't be needy and greedy by taking up all your friend's time. This could get extremely annoying and irritating. He/she will WANT to get rid of you if you become needy. Relax and trust in your friendship, and allow each other the freedom to be with each others, or with others, or just alone.
* Don't hang out with somebody because you're both "nerds" or you're both "geeks" or "gangsters" . You don't have to hang out with people just like you. Sometimes the weirdest friend combos make the best of friends.
13 May 2008
- Say it. When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.
- Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.
- Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.
- Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.
- Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.
- It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.
- There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
- You have to find someone that will suit you, someone you feel comfortable with - not just someone to make love to.
- As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?
- Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.
- Realize that love is a feeling that wikihow can describe and attempt to assist, but ultimately, you are the one who must take action in order to discover love.
- Do things that make the other person feel good, but do not smother them with gifts and attention.
- Consider some tips about what people in love do.
- People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavor to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.
- Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature. People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfillment in life.
- Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.
- People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.
- People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
- People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
- People who truly love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.
- People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.
- People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.
- People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.
- You must love yourself before you can love another.
- There is always the risk of getting hurt, but that's part of letting yourself fully love and trust some one. Being hurt could be long-lasting and could hurt more than anything in the world.
- Realize what you have while you have it, and care for the person you trust.
- If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.
- The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.
- You just may find your soul-mate sooner than you want to.
- If you feel any doubt of love your partner has for you, it is probably true. when you give and receive love 100%, you will have no doubt in your heart.
- Don't ask for love - you should receive love because your partner wants to give you love - not because you want it from your partner.
- Do not force love - it will come in good time, it will come.
11 May 2008
Nagulat din ako
Nong malaman na hindi lang pala ako
Nong nagaway tayo noon
At natuluyan sa iyakan at tampo
At sandali lang
Huwag ka munang magsalita
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala
Ang iniisip ko kung pwede pa ba tayo
Paulit-ulit lang ang nangyayari
Paikot-ikot tayo parang bote
At nasanay ka na ba doon
At nalimutan ang aking mga tanong
At hindi malinaw
Pwede bang wag kang sumigaw
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay maligaw
Nagtatanong sayo kung pwede pa ba tayo
At sandali lang
Huwag ka munang magsalita
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala
Nagtatanong sayo kung pwede pa ba tayo
05 May 2008
21 April 2008
17 April 2008
13 April 2008
26 March 2008
24 March 2008
18 March 2008
19 February 2008
05 February 2008
22 January 2008
2. The power or faculty of the mind by which it distinguishes
one thing from another; power of viewing differences in
objects, and their relations and tendencies; penetrative
and discriminate mental vision; acuteness; sagacity;
insight; as, the errors of youth often proceed from the
want of discernment.
Syn: Judgment; acuteness; discrimination; penetration;
sagacity; insight. -- Discernment, Penetration,
Discrimination. Discernment is keenness and accuracy
of mental vision; penetration is the power of seeing
deeply into a subject in spite of everything that
intercepts the view; discrimination is a capacity of
tracing out minute distinctions and the nicest shades of
thought. A discerning man is not easily misled; one of a
penetrating mind sees a multitude of things which escape
others; a discriminating judgment detects the slightest
21 January 2008
13 January 2008
05 January 2008
I used think i was smart, to lack in law school.
I used to sleep at night, to lack in law school
I used to have a life, to lack in law school.
I thought i was the shit, now i know I'm not the shit, thanks to law school
I cant stand what i see, friends and family, ask me how's law school?
And i have to say something like - it's driving me crazy, the work is endless the stress is relentless, my arguments defenseless, my choice of profession was senseless.
I used to have a sense of humor, to lack in law school
I never used to hear voices, to lack in the law school.
I never had gray hairs to lack in law school
I used to think I'm shit, now I know I'm not shit.
If there's one L life is hell.