26 May 2008

A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner The Signs Are All Around You

A Dozen Ways to Get to Know Your Real Partner

The Signs Are All Around You

By Stacy D. Phillips Updated: May 20, 2008

In my line of work -- family law -- I often hear the same old refrain when my client explains to me why they split from their significant other. It goes like this, "I guess I didn't really know my partner after all." You might ask, "How could that be?" How could you have an intimate relationship with someone only to wake up one day to find out that the person you fell in love with is not the person they turned out to be?
I believe there are at least a dozen ways to know who someone really is -- indicators -- and if we do an inventory early on, we might stand a better chance of getting to know the real person before we fully commit. The following "observance" suggestions are important ones to make in the early stages of any relationship because each offers insight into habits, patterns, and behaviors. As you ponder these observations, know that there is no right or wrong; it's a matter of acceptance. Sometimes we have to accept quirks and differences as part of the give-and-take process. As you do your assessment, however, the goal is to decide whether or not you can live with or without your real partner.
Here are the dozen indicators:

1. Protocol: First or Second? Whether it's walking through a door, ordering dinner, or taking a bite out of the freshly baked cookies you have made together, if your partner always have to go first this could indicate self- centeredness. Are you willing to always be the giver?

2. Politics: Liberal or Conservative? How your partner views what is right or wrong in a political sense tells you a lot about his deep inner beliefs about society, and ultimately, the way he will approach your relationship issues. Will his views cause a rift in your relationship?

3. Television: Sitcoms or News? If his tendency is to watch "escape" TV programs versus "newsy/event" oriented ones, you can learn a lot about one's intellect. Do you want a mate who can keep up with your every day interest in what is going on in the world or a person you can run away with to avoid the world we live in?

4. Money: Flash or Stash? If your partner throws money around while dating, he might well be reckless with your joint finances when you move in together. Do you want to hook up with a tightwad or splurger?

5. Stress: Freak or Peak? Under Pressure, does he go to pieces or rise to the top of his game? If the answer is the former, every minor incident in your relationship might become a crisis. Do you like a lot of drama?

6. Conversation: About You or Him? As you first get to know each other does he always talk about himself first or you? If he is usually the topic priority do not expect that to change. Can you subordinate yourself to the world revolving around him?

7. Pets: Warm or Aloof? Believe it or not, the way in which he treats animals will not be dissimilar to how he treats your children. How do you want him to treat your loved ones?

8. Communication: Listens or Ignores? If you have something you want to talk about and he tunes you out as a general rule, can you cope?

9. Strangers: Kind or Rude? How he treats those they do not know (waiters, grocery clerks) often reflects on how he will treat people in general, including you, shortly after the glow wears off.

10. Priorities: Family or Work? You can tell almost immediately where a person's preferences lie in terms of what comes first (a family member's illness or a business trip) by the choices he makes when faced with an "either/or" situation. Do you care if he leaves on the next plane to present the such-and-such report if you or the kids have pneumonia?

11. Appearance: Fat or Fit? How he regards his appearance screams loudly about his sense of self-esteem. Those who eat sensibly, workout reasonably, and who take pride in their appearance are the ones who have a great sense of self. Does he really have self-confidence or might it be a front?

12. Faith: Strong or Weak? If you want a peak at his soul, learn more about his spirituality, or lack of it. What a person believes deep down is often what shapes the way in which they conduct their day-to-day affairs. What is your mate's "words to live by?"

23 May 2008

On Greatness

The greatness in man consists of trying to be great, and you cannot be great if you demand of yourself to be faultless. Such a ridiculous demand results in isolation and emptiness. The true greatness in any human being lies not so much in not making a mistake as in rising above it. We are all mistake makers, but thank God, we have the power  to be mistake breakers. The capacity to rise above a mistake is the beginning of success.

19 May 2008

Lala at Bo's Coffee Katipunan

Intercity Foodtrip

A photo story of an intercity food-trip!

17 May 2008

What is a Friend?

a short cartoon on what is friendship

16 May 2008

How to Be a Good Friend

How to Be a Good Friend from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit Have you found yourself pondering how to make that new person in your life be friends with you?  Want to get closer and demonstrate your support, loyalty and love to your mates?  Read on for ways to be a great buddy and in the process, show your pals how you would like to be treated, too.
1.  Be real.  Are you trying to be friends with someone to be accepted into a certain clique, or because you'd like to get to know someone else that he or she knows?  That's not friendship, it's opportunism.  Every new person you meet has the right to be accepted (or not) on his or her own merits, rather than being appraised and appropriated by some weird Professor Henry Higgins who thinks he can mold you or who wants you to change for his sake.

2.  Be honest.  A dishonest person has no chance of having true friends.  Keep your promises, do what you say you are going to do, and most importantly, don't lie!  Lying leads to more lies, and people will eventually figure you out.  If you found yourself lying about something, be honest
- go up to them, tell them the truth and how you felt, as well as how you may think they would've felt (explain that you were second-guessing rather than trusting your friendship).  Don't be a coward; if you know you were at fault for the whole dilemma, own up.  Simply talk about it, hope your friend will forgive you.  They'd most likely appreciate it in the future, to look back and say, 'wow!' I have/had an amazing friend by my side.

3.  Be loyal.To Your friends first!  If your friend tells you something in confidence, don't blab about it to anyone else.  Don't talk about your friend behind his/her back.  Nobody likes a backstabber.  Never say anything about your friend that you would not want to repeat face to face.
Don't let others say bad things about your friend until you've had a chance to hear your friend's side of the story.  If someone says something that shocks you and doesn't seem like a thing your friend would do or say, tell them, "I know him/her, and that just doesn't sound right.  Let me talk to him/her, find out his/her perspective on this.  If it turns out to be true, I'll let you know.  Otherwise, I would appreciate it if you didn't spread that around, because it might not be." You can't play both sides of the fence.  Evil is evil and keeping evil secrets can end a friendship.

4.  Be respectful.  Know the boundaries.  Things you and your friend discuss should be treated with care - your friend is not sharing this information with just anyone, and may not want to.  She shared it with you - and only you, as far as you know.  Example: If your friend doesn't want to name her crush, don't push her into it.  If she has named her crush, don't tell anyone else.  This is just common courtesy anyone and everyone deserves the expectation that you will keep confidences.

5.  Watch out for your friend.  If you sense that s/he is getting drunk at a party, help him or her to get away from the alcohol.  Don't allow your friend to drive drunk - take his or her keys and/or drive your friend home personally.  If your friend begins talking about running away or committing suicide, tell someone about it.  This rule overrides the "respect privacy" step, because even if your friend begs you not to tell anyone, you should do it anyway.  Suggest a help line or professional to your friend.  Talk to your and your friend's parents first, before involving anyone else.  Exception to this rule: the parents are part of the problem (i.e., abusive, neglectful, alcoholic, drug abusers, etc.) - if this is the case, seek out a trusted teacher or counselor at school, or your parents.

6.  Pitch in for friends during times of crisis.  If your friend has to go to the hospital, you could help pack his or her bags; if her/his dog runs away, help to find it, if he/she needs someone to pick him/her up, be there.  Take notes for your friend in school and give them their homework assignments when they're absent and sick at home.  Send cards and care packages.  If there is a death in his/her family, you might want to attend the funeral or cook dinner for them.  Care about your friend enough to help him or her open up and let tears roll.  Give them a tissue and listen.  You don't have to say anything, just be with them.

7.  If your friend is going through a crisis, don't tell them everything is going to be all right if it's not going to be.  This goes right along with keeping it real.  It's hard not to say this sometimes, but false reassurance can often be worse than none, and it may undermine your friend's ability to get through the crisis as well as they might.  Instead, tell your friend that whatever they need, you are there for them.  If they need to talk, talk; if they need to sit quietly, sit with them; if they need to get their mind off things, take them to a movie or concert.  Give them a hug.  You are friends, not strangers, after all.  Just stay honest, but upbeat and positive.  Even a stranger would most probably appreciate it.

8.  Give advice, add perspective.  Don't judge your friend, but do advise to stay out of situations where they may harm themselves or others.
Tell him/her how you perceive his/her situation, and what you might do in the same circumstances.  Don't be offended if they listen to your advice and then decide to ignore it.  Your friend must make his or her own decisions.

9.  Give your friend space.  Understand if he/she wants to be alone or hang out with other people.  Allow it to happen.  There's no need to become clingy or needy.  Allowing one another the time to hang with other friends gives you much-needed breathing room, and allows you to come together fresh and appreciating each other even more.

10.  Make sure your friend doesn't have to spend a birthday alone.  You can hold a party for them (even a surprise party if you can keep a secret) or take them out to dinner and pay for their meal.

11.  Have fun.  It's not all about bleeding hearts and advice to the lovelorn - or at least, it shouldn't be.  Decorate your friend's locker on his or her birthday, have a spa party, host a sleepover, whatever.  Join activities with them.  There are many different activities in school systems today.  Just find a common interest you and your friend share.

12.  Never make a promise you know you can't keep.  Good friendship is based on trust - if you break a friend's trust, the friendship may be very hard to salvage.  Of course, if you have made a promise and planned to keep it, but circumstances beyond your control conspire to prevent it, let your friend know as soon as you find out.  Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "gee, I'm sorry."
Instead, a quick call to say, "Hey, I know I promised to help you with whatever it is, but my mom is telling me we are going to my aunt's for the weekend, and leaving tomorrow just after school - that means I won't be able to make it.  I'm so sorry.  Can we reschedule?" That's just honoring the fact that your friend is counting on you, and respecting the fact that, given a little notice, your friend might just be able to get someone else to help with whatever it was - or not, whatever.  But at least you won't be hanging your friend out to twist in the wind.

13.  Listen to them; you don't have to agree with them - just listen to what they have to say.  Make sure they are talking too and you are not just running your mouth.  Some people don't really find it interesting listening to someone talk about their feelings 24/7.  If you're monopolizing every conversation with your feelings, they aren't getting anything out of the friendship.  Invite them to share their hearts with you as often as you share yours with them.

14.  Watch Their Feelings This is very important to abide by.  If your friend has recently broken up or got a bad grade (anything that upsets them) remember to comfort them and help them get through.  Also, don't let your friend push you around.  If both of you like a certain boy, drop it. if one of you still likes him you should make sure that it is okay with your other friend too.

15.  Don't Abuse their generosity or "wear out your welcome" This is the most important of all of the rules.If your friend does something nice for you, then reciprocate.  Money doesn't have to be an issue.  Don't use your friends!  Don't let them pay everytime you go out, even if they offer.
Don't help yourself to things at their house without asking, unless you are willing and they do the same at your house.  No one wants to be friends with a moocher or feel used.If you borrow something from a friend,take good care of it and then return it without being asked.Also if you end the friendship then you should return any gifts they bought for you.  Especially if they gave you any gifts under false pretences.  It's proper etiquette.  Just like returning an engagment ring if you don't marry the person who gave it to you.

16.  Live by the golden rule.always treat a friend as you would want to be treated.  If you don't there will be repercussions.Don't do or say anything to them that you wouldn't want done to you.  Be there for them through thick and thin as long as they are a TRUE friend to you.  Also learn to forgive.  If there is an arguement.  Truly access yourself and your behavior in the past.Sometimes you should be the one to apologize.
Your previous actions could have led to the situation.

* Good friends:
o are nice to each other.
o Trust each other o share their last piece of gum.
o spend time with each other.
o listen and help each other feel better when they are sad.
o are happy for each other.
o remember each other's birthdays.
o do things "just because"
o keep each other's secrets.
o let each other have other friends.
o give one another the benefit of the doubt.
* Good friends don't:
o steal things.
o ignore each other.
o call each other names.
o stay mad for very long.
o do drugs.
o cancel plans at the last minute to go hang-out with someone else.
o blurt out each other's secrets to other people.
o talk behind each other's backs.
o insist on playing "their way".
o leave each other out on games, or o lie and then lie again about your lie.
* You don't have to spend a lot of money to be a good friend.  The best gifts are often hand-made and come from the heart.
* Don't set too many expectations and rules.  That's just trapping others in your dimension.  Allowing your friendship to evolve and change naturally is really best - it allows your friend to be as unique and individual as you are, and for both of you to enjoy one another in that light.
* If someone is in any difficulty and he/she's behave very angryful to you then don't be angry and try to understand their problems.

* Do not be clingy!  This will make someone dislike you right away.  If you want to know something about a friend, ask them, not others and the internet.
* Experience for yourself and form your own opinions.  Don't just take the shortcut and ask others for theirs, or stereotypically assign that stereotype to anyone.  Any person can transcend stereoype be the most wonderful person you've ever met in your life - keep your mind open and form your own opinions.
* Don't be needy and greedy by taking up all your friend's time.  This could get extremely annoying and irritating.  He/she will WANT to get rid of you if you become needy.  Relax and trust in your friendship, and allow each other the freedom to be with each others, or with others, or just alone.
* Don't hang out with somebody because you're both "nerds" or you're both "geeks" or "gangsters" .  You don't have to hang out with people just like you.  Sometimes the weirdest friend combos make the best of friends.

13 May 2008

How to Love

  1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.
  2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.
  3. Love unconditionally. If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.
  4. Expect nothing in return. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.
  5. Realize it can be lost. If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.


  • It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.
  • There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
  • You have to find someone that will suit you, someone you feel comfortable with - not just someone to make love to.
  • As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?
  • Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate.  At times, we can experience rejection.
  • Realize that love is a feeling that wikihow can describe and attempt to assist, but ultimately, you are the one who must take action in order to discover love.
  • Do things that make the other person feel good, but do not smother them with gifts and attention.
  • Consider some tips about what people in love do.
    •   People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavor to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.
    •   Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature. People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfillment in life.
    •   Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.
    •   People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.
    •   People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
    •   People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
    •   People who truly love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.
    •   People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.
    •   People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.
    •   People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.


  • You must love yourself before you can love another.
  • There is always the risk of getting hurt, but that's part of letting yourself fully love and trust some one. Being hurt could be long-lasting and could hurt more than anything in the world.
  • Realize what you have while you have it, and care for the person you trust.
  • If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.
  • The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.
  • You just may find your soul-mate sooner than you want to.
  • If you feel any doubt of love your partner has for you, it is probably true. when you give and receive love 100%, you will have no doubt in your heart.
  • Don't ask for love - you should receive love because your partner wants to give you love - not because you want it from your partner.
  • Do not force love - it will come in good time, it will come.
 Article provided by wikiHow

11 May 2008

Soapdish - Tensionado

Nagulat din ako
Nong malaman na hindi lang pala ako
Yung nanghinayang
Nong nagaway tayo noon
At natuluyan sa iyakan at tampo

At sandali lang
Huwag ka munang magsalita
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala
Ang iniisip ko kung pwede pa ba tayo

At miserable
Paulit-ulit lang ang nangyayari
Paikot-ikot tayo parang bote
At nasanay ka na ba doon
At nalimutan ang aking mga tanong

Chorus 2:
At hindi malinaw
Pwede bang wag kang sumigaw
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay maligaw
Nagtatanong sayo kung pwede pa ba tayo

Chorus 3:
At sandali lang
Huwag ka munang magsalita
Di ko hahayaan lahat ito ay mawala

Nagtatanong sayo kung pwede pa ba tayo

05 May 2008