Today, I feel normal.
These past few days, I had been sick. My doctor says i had pneumonia which is probably due to a weak immune system caused by bad habits, sleepless nights, stress, and emotional imbalances. But today is different because for the first time in many months, i feel normal.
I am cured of pneumonia. It was easy. All I had to do was to take this 200 peso antibiotic drug twice daily for a week. I spent around 3 thousand pesos for the meds. It is a lot of money for me considering I am a mere minimum wage earner; although, it could have been more expensive if I had gone worse and I ended up in the hospital. I am thankful to God for that.
You know, what's weird is that I really believe there is something in the ingredient of my antibiotic drug that cured me of more than just my pulmonary abnormality. It brought back something that I lost, something that I have been trying to find for so long - my self.
I don't know what it is, but it had a funny effect on me. For the first time in many, many months I felt the core of my being - the naked me - stripped out of desires and passions. Today, I'm just in tune with my self, my spirit, my Being. I am steady and stable. There's no longing for anything. The vices don't appeal to me nor other worldly pleasures. I am not worried about my past, nor my future. I am not sad. I am not happy either. I'm just normal, perfectly normal.
Ironically, i know, this feeling of being "perfectly normal" will pass, too. Soon I will be back to the real world. A world of roller coaster emotions, a world of neediness, arbitrariness, opportunity and pessimism. A world of chaos and order, light and darkness, freedom and restraint.
Soon, I'll be back playing the game again. A game of losers, winners, expectations, risk, stakes, prize and loss.
But today for now, I don't have to bother my self with the world and the game. Now, I will simply rejoice and be glad because for the first time in a long long time, I am fine and am perfectly normal.