09 July 2010

The Death of Music

“Music speaks what cannot be expressed,
 soothes the mind and gives it rest,
 heals the heart and makes it whole, 
flows from heaven to the soul.”

Chapter I 

My mother was my first music teacher. She taught me the basic formation of the fingers to form chords. She also taught me the proper way of strumming the guitar. It has never been the same after that. Through constant practice, before I knew it, the noise I was producing became refined melody.

The more I learn about music the more I became motivated  to practice and study more. During those times, I literally slept, woke up, drank, ate, and took a dump with my guitar. I would not want to miss a minute without it by my side. I was in high school when I bought my first electric guitar. It was also a time of my growing angst towards the world. I was introduced to metal, grunge, and punk. Spell Metallica, Nirvana, Tool, and Wolfgang.

In college, I joined an organizational pool of musicians. I was there that  I met a lot of music enthusiast that some eventually became my band-mates. They were my brothers and sisters in music. My musical taste even became more diverse  as they introduced me to  Jazz, Blues, Soul, Funk, and Bossa Nova.

We performed everywhere: events, birthdays, debuts, weddings and rock concerts. We won a lot of cash when, at one time, we joined an acoustic battle of the bands sponsored by a local radio station. "Study hard, Jam Harder!" - that was our motto.

In all those times, I always refused to play for money. My principle has always been "music as a means of self expression." It was always about sharing the gift.

Chapter II 

It is depressing to realize that for a very long time now, I have not played my guitar. What is even more shocking is the fact that and I do not plan to play it anytime soon. In fact, I do not even know where my guitars are now. They are probably sleeping with cobwebs somewhere. Are they safe from humidity and moisture? Are they even in their guitar cases?  I could not care less.

The first time I realized this problem was when, not long ago, I was asked by my friend, "When will be your band's next gig?"

I caught my self answering my friend this way, "I've already retired."

It was the day Music died.

Music died the same manner God died: People stopped believing him. People stopped needing him. People stopped worshiping him. Disenchantment ruled their hearts.

Music is dead. It died. It's dead. I killed it.

But I will not leave his dead body yet. I am embracing hope that someday, just like Jesus, it can resurrect itself from the dead.

I am not leaving just as yet.

I'm praying for a miracle.

Chapter III

My second to the last gig with the most promising band to date, Rocks to Rockets.

My last gig  with Bey, Oikes, and Bogsie at Acoustic Enchantment at Bela Bar, Greenhills.

Photo credits:Rocks to Rockets and Aganons.


sweet pea said...

oh hon! its ok. ur just a little distracted...don't forget the advice of a fellow musician of urs "never stop playing" ...music is hu u are and will always be a part of u..anytime ur ready to play again..it will all come back,...and i promise i will be in the crowd cheering u on :D

J said...

Kung nasa dugo mo ang musika, hindi ito mawawala. Maaaring nakahimbing, pero anjan pa rin. Gisingin mo lang. ;-)

khantotantra said...

nagpapahinga lang ang musika na iyong taglay. marahil kailangan mo lang ng isang bagay o pangyayari na pupukaw uli at magpapa-alab ng iyong pagnanais na tumugtog.

glentot said...

Nice, parinig naman ng songs nyo hehe

NoBenta said...

once a rocker, always a rocker. parekoy, kahit ako na-experience ko ang ganyan sa banda ko pero i'm still hoping that someday, we will get together and jam.

yung gitara ko, almost one year ko na di nagagamit. naiwan siya sa pinas kaya isa siya sa mga kakaruin ko pag-uwi ko on august.

ngapala, you have a rakista or soundlick account of your band?

karen anne said...

am looking forward to hear your music.

Rah said...

@sweetpea, thank you hon. :)

@j, mejo matagal na pagkakahimbing siguro ang maeexperience niya :D

@khanto, totoo yan, siguro dipende din sa panahon. times are changing, sign siguro na tumatanda na ako. sigh

@glentot um, alam ko dati nagpost na ako ng practice session namin dito. :)

@nobenta we are on the same boat pala. mejo nostalgic din ako sa nineties. The golden age of grunge. Sound click? Wala eh, may mga random videos lang sa you tube. yung rocks to rockets ata meron, once lang ako nagsession don eh. hihi.

@Karen, sige hanap ako ng video ng gig namin.

r.o.a.n.n.e said...

bakit ayaw mo na hawakan ang gitara mo? sayang naman! galing nyo kaya *sigh*

Rah said...

@roanne music died. It's dead :(

Roni Flores said...

musicians are zombies. you'll get back on track after the T-virus kicks in. :)

gillboard said...

parang pagiging blogger lang yan.

once a rocker, always a rocker.

salamat pala sa xlink. done.

pmm012 said...

isang sample nga ulit dyan.. if its in your blood, it aint dead! and would not be as long as blood runs in your veins...

xaige said...

i do play the guitar... konti lang hahaha but kahit hindi ko na sya na play play... i still do love music... its in your blood!

Chemae said...

I can relate! Sobra. Haha. Noong araw na namatay sa akin ang musika, at tinanong rin ako ng isang kaibigan kung kailan ang susunod na gig tapos ang sagot ko rin, "Di na ako magbabanda, tapos na ako sa stage na yan," ang sagot niya sakin "Dumadaloy na yan sa dugo mo, kahit saan ka pa mapunta babalik at babalik yang musika sa iyo."

After three years nagkatotoo. Haha.

Goodluck sa pagmumusika RA! Panood ng gig one time! Para hindi naman kami puro youtube lang. :)

GLIP said...

it starts with missing it. then you look forward to it. it's time for a resurrection of sorts.

Majojojo said...

Dude, I just read your blog and my advice to you...don't forget that music is a never ending quest to express yourself..Once a musician, always a musician. You can never obliterate it from your system, your blood or your being. You might just be experiencing a musician's drought, but it will come to an end. Mind you, I've also experienced this drought. i swear that I don't want to sing again. I've turned down a lot of gigs and nobody knows why and I have never told this to anybody, not until now. But this phase ended. I've regained my passion for music. I've regain my thirst to perform. I've hungered for the crowd to cheer and applaud for me.
I hope your musician's drought will come to an end soon. I hope the fire in you continue to burn and regain the strength it once was. Rock on dude. You were one of the best guitarist I saw in my life...=)

Skron said...

I can totally relate to you, man. We even have the same influences.

Used to be a musician as well and then stopped because of responsibilities. I still play in my bedroom from time to time. But it's not the same when I still have a band and gigs.

But, dude, don't give up. My former band mates and members of our sister bands, they got together last New Year to play a gig.