life is the dancer and i am the dance

I am one with life.

How to get what you want.

Luke 11:5-13

[5] Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, [6] because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' [7] "Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me.  The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed.  I can't get up and give you anything.' [8] I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

[9] "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  [10] For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

[11] "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  [12] Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  [13] If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

EQ and the Marshmallow Test

Deferred gratification or delayed gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This personality trait is important for life success.

In Daniel Goleman's book “Emotional Intelligence," he describes the concept of the EQ (Emotional Quotient). EQ is similar in many respects to IQ; however, EQ is believed to be a better determinant of success in relating, building, and maintaining relationships with others over the course of a person's life.People who lack this trait are said to need instant gratification and may suffer from poor impulse control.

Impulse control disorder is a set of psychiatric disorders including (hot-headedness), kleptomania (stealing), pathological gambling, pyromania (fire-starting), trichotillomania (pulling one's hair out) and dermatillomania (skin picking). Impulse control disorders are considered to be part of the obsessive-compulsive disorder spectrum.

The onset of these disorders usually occurs between the ages of 7 and 15. Impulsivity, the key feature of these disorders, can be thought of as seeking a small, short term gain at the expense of a large, long term loss. Those with the disorder repeatedly demonstrate failure to resist their behavioral impetuosity. The essence of emotional self-regulation is the ability to control one's impulses in the service of goal.

The marshmallow experiment is a famous test of this concept conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University and discussed by Daniel Goleman in his popular work. In the 1960s, a group of four-year olds were given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not.

The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence, and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test.

The marshmallow test has been found to be a remarkable predictor in how successful the children will be at establishing and achieving goals. The test is essentially a way of measuring if the child is capable of understanding consequences and delaying gratification for a future reward.

The test starts with the interviewer and the child sitting at a table. The interviewer offers the child a marshmallow that they can have immediately, or if they can wait for 15 minutes they will be rewarded with an extra marshmallow. The interviewer then gets a call and has to leave the room, again explaining that if the child waits for their return they will be rewarded with a second marshmallow, but they are free to have the marshmallow in front of them at anytime. If they do take the marshmallow in front of them they will not get the second marshmallow, if they wait they will be rewarded with two.

This simple test has been a great predictor in determining how successful children will be in later life. Those children that are able to understand the concept of delayed gratification, and wait for the second marshmallow, tend to be more goal oriented. The children that act impulsively and eat the first marshmallow tend to be impulsive with less understanding of future reward.

 

 

 

Sources:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impulse_control_disorder
http://klondikeconsulting.com/blog/?p=24
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deferred_gratification
 

General guidelines to improve memory

General guidelines to improve memory

In addition to exercising your brain, there are some basic things you can do to improve your ability to retain and retrieve memories:

1. Pay attention. You can’t remember something if you never learned it, and you can’t learn something — that is, encode it into your brain — if you don’t pay enough attention to it. It takes about eight seconds of intent focus to process a piece of information through your hippocampus and into the appropriate memory center. So, no multitasking when you need to concentrate! If you distract easily, try to receive information in a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted.
2. Tailor information acquisition to your learning style. Most people are visual learners; they learn best by reading or otherwise seeing what it is they have to know. But some are auditory learners who learn better by listening. They might benefit by recording information they need and listening to it until they remember it.
3. Involve as many senses as possible. Even if you’re a visual learner, read out loud what you want to remember. If you can recite it rhythmically, even better. Try to relate information to colors, textures, smells and tastes. The physical act of rewriting information can help imprint it onto your brain.
4. Relate information to what you already know. Connect new data to information you already remember, whether it’s new material that builds on previous knowledge, or something as simple as an address of someone who lives on a street where you already know someone.
5. Organize information. Write things down in address books and datebooks and on calendars; take notes on more complex material and reorganize the notes into categories later. Use both words and pictures in learning information.
6. Understand and be able to interpret complex material. For more complex material, focus on understanding basic ideas rather than memorizing isolated details. Be able to explain it to someone else in your own words.  
7. Rehearse information frequently and “over-learn”. Review what you’ve learned the same day you learn it, and at intervals thereafter. What researchers call “spaced rehearsal” is more effective than “cramming.” If you’re able to “over-learn” information so that recalling it becomes second nature, so much the better.
8. Be motivated and keep a positive attitude. Tell yourself that you want to learn what you need to remember, and that you can learn and remember it. Telling yourself you have a bad memory actually hampers the ability of your brain to remember, while positive mental feedback sets up an expectation of success.

Mnemonic devices to improve memory

Mnemonics (the initial “m” is silent) are clues of any kind that help us remember something, usually by causing us to associate the information we want to remember with a visual image, a sentence, or a word.

Common types of mnemonic devices include:

1. Visual images - a microphone to remember the name “Mike,” a rose for “Rosie.” Use positive, pleasant images, because the brain often blocks out unpleasant ones, and make them vivid, colorful, and three-dimensional — they’ll be easier to remember.
2. Sentences in which the first letter of each word is part of or represents the initial of what you want to remember. Millions of musicians, for example, first memorized the lines of the treble staff with the sentence “Every good boy does fine” (or “deserves favor”), representing the notes E, G, B, D, and F. Medical students often learn groups of nerves, bones, and other anatomical features using nonsense sentences.
3. Acronyms, which are initials that creates pronounceable words. The spaces between the lines on the treble staff, for example, are F, A, C, and E: FACE.
4. Rhymes and alliteration: remember learning “30 days hath September, April, June, and November”? A hefty guy named Robert can be remembered as “Big Bob” and a smiley co-worker as “Perky Pat” (though it might be best to keep such names to yourself).
5. Jokes or even off-color associations using facts, figures, and names you need to recall, because funny or peculiar things are easier to remember than mundane images.
6. “Chunking” information; that is, arranging a long list in smaller units or categories that are easier to remember. If you can reel off your Social Security number without looking at it, that’s probably because it’s arranged in groups of 3, 2, and 4 digits, not a string of 9.
7. “Method of loci”: This is an ancient and effective way of remembering a lot of material, such as a speech. You associate each part of what you have to remember with a landmark in a route you know well, such as your commute to work.

Healthy habits to improve memory

Treating your body well can enhance your ability to process and recall information.

Healthy Habits that Improve Memory
Regular exercise	Increases oxygen to your brain. Reduces the risk for disorders that lead to memory loss, such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease. May enhance the effects of helpful brain chemicals and protect brain cells.
Managing stress	Cortisol, the stress hormone, can damage the hippocampus if the stress is unrelieved. Stress makes it difficult to concentrate.
Good sleep habits	Sleep is necessary for memory consolidation. Sleep disorders like insomnia and sleep apnea leave you tired and unable to concentrate during the day.
Not smoking	Smoking heightens the risk of vascular disorders that can cause stroke and constrict arteries that deliver oxygen to the brain.

Nutrition and Memory improvement

You probably know already that a diet based on fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and “healthy” fats will provide lots of health benefits, but such a diet can also improve memory. Research indicates that certain nutrients nurture and stimulate brain function.
B vitamins, especially B6, B12, and folic acid, protects neurons by breaking down homocysteine, an amino acid that is toxic to nerve cells. They’re also involved in making red blood cells, which carry oxygen. (Best sources: spinach and other dark leafy greens, broccoli, asparagus, strawberries, melons, black beans and other legumes, citrus fruits, soybeans.)
Antioxidants like vitamins C and E, and beta carotene, fight free radicals, which are atoms formed when oxygen interacts with certain molecules. Free radicals are highly reactive and can damage cells, but antioxidants can interact with them safely and neutralize them. Antioxidants also improve the flow of oxygen through the body and brain. (Best sources: blueberries and other berries, sweet potatoes, red tomatoes, spinach, broccoli, green tea, nuts and seeds, citrus fruits, liver.)
Omega-3 fatty acids are concentrated in the brain and are associated with cognitive function. They count as “healthy” fats, as opposed to saturated fats and trans fats, protecting against inflammation and high cholesterol. (Best sources: cold-water fish such as salmon, herring, tuna, halibut, and mackerel; walnuts and walnut oil; flaxseed and flaxseed oil)
Because older adults are more prone to B12 and folic acid deficiencies, a supplement may be a good idea for seniors. An omega-3 supplement (at any age) if you don’t like eating fish. But nutrients work best when they’re consumed in foods, so try your best to eat a broad spectrum of colorful plant foods and choose fats that will help clear, not clog, your arteries. Your brain will thank you!

http://www.helpguide.org/life/improving_memory.htm

Today is a Present

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

-Kung Fu Panda

Carpe diem everyone :D

Emotional Guidance System

The Emotional Guidance scale has a range of emotions beginning with the most positive empowering emotions to emotions of desperation and weakness.

The Emotional Guidance scale as explained by Esther and Jerry Hicks, has the following emotions.

During the day you need to be aware of which emotion you are experiencing from the Emotional Guidance System. When you are experiencing the positive emotions you are helping in the co creation of your goals.

When you feel a negative emotion you are blocking yourself from your source and blocking abundance. You then have to shift that negative emotion to better feeling emotion on the scale.

One of the methods to move to a better feeling emotions is Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) which is a natural and effective technique to heal negative emotions. When you feel stuck with negative emotions tapping on the meridian endings releases the negative energy and makes you feel calmer.

It is also important to heal the core issues behind the negative emotions. Suppose you feel anger towards a loved one. Healing past pain caused by this person who has angered you will help you feel lasting peace.

When you are happy and grateful we are connected to the universe, the source energy. When you are connected to your source you are in alignment with your goals.

When you are feeling negative emotions like frustration, impatience, anger etc you are disconnected from your source and we are not in alignment with your goals.

To be vibrating with positive emotions of love and gratitude may require you to make a committed effort towards your healing if you have not already done that. Healing past pain and negative beliefs improves your self esteem and helps you to vibrate with emotions indicated on the higher scale of the emotional guidance system.

The result is that you make peace with your past and you stop fighting the present moment. You vibrate with happy emotions and you are in the process helping in the manifestation of your goals and you become a conscious co creator.








http://www.squidoo.com/emotional-guidance-system

Horus vs Jesus (part 1)

About Yeshua of Nazareth: He is commonly referred to as Jesus Christ, although Joshua would be a more accurate translation of his first name.

"Christ" is not his last name; it is simply the Greek word for "Messiah," or "anointed one." Theologians have discovered about 50 gospels which were widely used by Jewish, Pauline and Gnostic groups within the early Christian movement. Only four of these were chosen by the surviving group, Pauline Christianity, and were included in the Bible. Those four Gospels describe Jesus as a Jew, a follower of the Hillel the Elder and his liberal school of religion.

Yeshua is said to have been born in what are now the occupied territories -- formerly called Palestine - circa 4 to 7 BCE. Two of the Gospels say that Yeshua was born of a virgin; John seems to deny the possibility, and Mark is silent on the virgin birth. Yeshua is variously portrayed as a rabbi, teacher, healer, exorcist, magician, ₁₈ prophet, and religious leader who had a one year (according to Mark, Matthew and Luke) or a three year (according to John) ministry, starting when he was about 30 years old. Most Christians believe that he was executed by the Roman occupying army, visited the underworld, was resurrected, spent 40 days with his disciples, and then ascended to heaven. Most Christian denominations view Jesus as God, and as the Son of God, the second person in the Trinity. Muslims view him as a great prophet, second only to Muhammed. They believe that God is indivisible and that the Trinity concept is perhaps the greatest blasphemy one can believe in.

Many evangeical Christians view the Gospels as being inerrant whose authors were inspired by God. The Gospels and other passages in the Bible are mostly interpreted literally.

About Horus: Various ancient Egyptian statues and writings tell of Horus, (pronounced "hohr'-uhs;"
a.k.a. Harseisis, Heru-sa-Aset (Horus, son of Isis), Heru-ur (Horus the elder), Hr, and Hrw), a creator sky God. He was worshipped thousands of years before the first century CE -- the time when Jesus was ministering in Palestine. ₂ Horus was often represented as a stylized eye symbol, symbolizing the eye of a falcon. He was also presented "in the shape of a sparrow hawk or as a man [or lion] with a hawk's head." ₃ He is often shown as an infant cradled by his mother Isis. He was considered to be the son of two major Egyptian deities: the God Osirus and and the Goddess Isis. In adulthood, he avenged his father's murder, and became recognized as the God of civil order and justice. Each of the Egyptian pharaohs were believed to be the living embodiment -- an incarnation -- of Horus. ₄

Life events shared by Horus and Jesus

Stories from the life of Horus had been circulating for centuries before Jesus birth (circa 4 to 7 BCE). If any copying occurred by the writers of the Egyptian or Christian religions, it was the followers of Jesus who incorporated into his biography the myths and legends of Horus, not vice-versa.

Author and theologian Tom Harpur studied the works of three authors who have written about ancient Egyptian religion: Godfrey Higgins (1771-1834), Gerald Massey (1828-1907) and Alvin Boyd Kuhn (1880-1963). Harpur incorporated some of their findings into his book "Pagan Christ." He argued that all of the essential ideas of both Judaism and Christianity came primarily from Egyptian religion. "[Author Gerald] Massey discovered nearly two hundred instances of immediate correspondence between the mythical Egyptian material and the allegedly historical Christian writings about Jesus. Horus indeed was the archetypal Pagan Christ." ₇

Comparison of some life events of Horus and Jesus:

from http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_jcpa5.htm

Event	Horus	Yeshua of Nazareth, a.k.a. Jesus
Conception:	By a virgin. There is some doubt about this matter	By a virgin. 8
Father:	Only begotten son of the God Osiris.	Only begotten son of Yehovah (in the form of the Holy Spirit).
Mother:	Isis-Meri. 9	Miriam (a.k.a. Mary).
Foster father:	Seb, (Jo-Seph). 9	Joseph.
Foster father's ancestry:	Of royal descent.	Of royal descent.
Birth location:	In a cave.	In a cave or stable.
Annunciation:	By an angel to Isis, his mother.	By an angel to Miriam, his mother. 8
Birth heralded by:	The star Sirius, the morning star.	An unidentified "star in the East."
Birth date:	Ancient Egyptians paraded a manger and child representing Horus through the streets at the time of the winter solstice (about DEC-21).	Born during the fall. However, his birth date is now celebrated on DEC-25. The date was chosen to occur on the same date as the birth of Mithra, Dionysus and the Sol Invictus (unconquerable Sun), etc.
Birth announcement:	By angels.	By angels. 8
Birth witnesses:	Shepherds.	Shepherds. 8
Later witnesses to birth:	Three solar deities.	Three wise men. 8
Death threat during infancy:	Herut tried to have Horus murdered.	Herod tried to have Jesus murdered.
Handling the threat:	The God That tells Horus' mother "Come, thou goddess Isis, hide thyself with thy child."	An angel tells Jesus' father to: "Arise and take the young child and his mother and flee into Egypt."
Rite of passage ritual:	Horus came of age with a special ritual,  when his eye was restored.	Taken by parents to the temple for what is today called a bar mitzvah ritual.
Age at the ritual:	12	12
Break in life history:	No data between ages of 12 & 30.	No data between ages of 12 & 30.
Baptism location:	In the river Eridanus.	In the river Jordan.
Age at baptism:	30.	30.
Baptized by:	Anup the Baptiser.	John the Baptist.
Subsequent fate of the baptiser:	Beheaded.	Beheaded.
Temptation:	Taken from the desert of Amenta up a high mountain by his arch-rival Sut. Sut (a.k.a. Set) was a precursor for the Hebrew Satan.	Taken from the desert in Palestine up a high mountain by his arch-rival Satan.
Result of temptation:	Horus resists temptation.	Jesus resists temptation.
Close followers:	Twelve disciples. There is some doubt about this matter as well.	Twelve disciples.
Activities:	Walked on water, cast out demons, healed the sick, restored sight to the blind. He "stilled the sea by his power."	Walked on water, cast out demons, healed the sick, restored sight to the blind. He ordered the sea with a "Peace, be still" command.
Raising of the dead:	Horus raised Osirus, his dead father,  from the grave. 10	Jesus raised Lazarus from the grave.
Location where the resurrection miracle occurred:	Anu, an Egyptian city where the rites of the death, burial and resurrection of Horus were enacted annually. 10	Hebrews added their prefix for house ('beth") to "Anu" to produce "Beth-Anu" or the "House of Anu." Since "u" and "y" were interchangeable in antiquity, "Bethanu" became "Bethany," the location mentioned in John 11.
Origin of Lazarus' name in the Gospel of John:		Asar was an alternative name for Osirus, Horus' father, who Horus raised from the dead. He was referred to as "the Asar," as a sign of respect. Translated into Hebrew, this is "El-Asar." The Romans added the prefix "us" to indicate a male name, producing "Elasarus." Over time, the "E" was dropped and "s" became "z," producing "Lazarus." 10
Transfigured:	On a mountain.	On a high mountain.
Key address(es):	Sermon on the Mount.	Sermon on the Mount; Sermon on the Plain.
Method of death	By crucifixion or by the sting of a scorpion; sources differ. 19	By crucifixion.
Accompanied by:	Two thieves.	Two thieves.
Burial	In a tomb.	In a tomb.
Fate after death:	Descended into Hell; resurrected after three days.	Descended into Hell; resurrected after about 30 to 38 hours (Friday PM to presumably some time in Sunday AM) covering parts of three days.
Resurrection announced by:	Women.	Women.
Future:	Reign for 1,000 years in the Millennium.	Reign for 1,000 years in the Millennium.

Congratulations to My Brother

Bro, Congratulations! Graduate ka na. I'm very proud of you. Alam ko pinaghirapan mo talaga ang degree mo. Naaalala ko ang mga gabi na nagpupuyat ka ng sobra sa kakaaral at kakagawa ng thesis mo. Minsan pa nga umiiyak ka sakin kasi sobrang stressed ka na :)

Masayang-masaya ako para sayo. Isang life achievement ang naaccomplish mo. Panibagong chapter ng buhay mo ang magbubukas. I'm sure magiging successful ka sa mga future undertakings mo. Bro nandito lang ako palagi to support you. Mabuhay ka! :)



______
PS: Sa lahat ng graduates ngayong March. Congratulations din sa inyo. :D
Welcome to the club :)

End Note. Ayon sa isang study, for every 100 na estudyante na pumapasok ng grade one,  less than 5% lang ang gumagraduate ng college sa Pilipinas.

The Law of Diminishing Returns

Here are a couple of definitions:

Concept in economics that if one factor of production (number of workers, for example) is increased while other factors (machines and workspace, for example) are held constant, the resulting increase in output will level-off after some time and then decline. Although the marginal productivity of the workforce decreases as output increases, diminishing returns do not mean negative returns until (in this example) the number of workers exceeds the available machines or workspace. In everyday experience, this law is expressed as "the gain is not worth the pain.”

-----

The law of diminishing returns is a classic economic concept that states that as more investment in an area is made, overall return on that investment increases at a declining rate, assuming that all variables remain fixed. To continue to make an investment after a certain point (which varies from context to context) is to receive a decreasing return on that input.
The law of diminishing returns has broader applications than economics. In fact, it is one of the most widely recognized economic principles outside of the economic classroom. In a call center, for instance, service level improvements decline in rate in relation to each additional successive agent added.



Other real-world examples abound:


Drinking beer when you're already drunk
Buying when you can no longer afford
Fighting when it's not fighting for
Giving more time to unimportant things
Staying when it's time to leave.
A student considering one more hour of study after 2 AM and he is burnt out.


http://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090303165814AATCcYB

On Killing

Si X pinatay si Y

What crime is committed?

IT DEPENDS.

Parricide -- if he kills his father, mother, or child, whether legitimate of illegitimate, or any of his ascendants or descendants, or his spouse.

Death under exceptional circumstances -- if a legally married person or a parent surprises his spouse or his daughter, the latter under 18 years of age and living with him, in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person; that he or she kills any or both of them, and has not promoted or facilitated the prostitution of his wife or daughter, or that he or she has not consented to the infidelity of the other spouse.

Murder -- if it is not parricide, and the killing is committed with treachery, meaning, means or persons are employed by the accused who killed the deceased to prevent his being recognized, or to secure himself against detection and punishment. Or with cruelty, by deliberately, and inhumanly augmenting the suffering of the victim, or outraging or scoffing at his person or corpse.

Homicide -- if the killing is without the attendance of any of the circumstances of murder.

Death caused in a tumultuous affray -- if while several persons, not composing groups organized for the common purpose of assaulting and attacking each other reciprocally, quarrel and assault each other in a confused and tumultuous manner, and in the course of the affray someone is killed, and it cannot be identified, such person or persons.

Infanticide -- when a child less than 3 days is killed.

Intentional abortion -- if the fetus dies as a result of the use of violence or drugs or beverages upon a pregnant woman or any other act.

Unintentional abortion -- if violence is used upon such pregnant woman without intending an abortion.

If Y is an animal, like aso, baboy pusa (or any property) for the purposes of willful damaging of another’s property due to hate, revenge , or other EVIL motives the crime is Malicious Mischief.

If Y is an insect – the crime is insecticide (nye!)

 
Post script.

Kung may utang kayo, at demandable na - please lang bayaran niyo na!. Atsaka, pag nagpromise kayo na babayaran niyo ang utang niyo on a given date,place, at time, please naman, be true to your word para walang nahahassel.  Sabi pa nga sa sa Civil Code:

 
Art. 19. "Every person must, in the exercise of his rights and in the performance of his duties, act with justice, give everyone his due and observe honesty and good faith."

Art. 20. "Every person who, contrary to law, willfully or negligently causes damage to another, shall indemnify the latter for the same."

By the way, kung magpapautang kayo ng pera, lalo na at medyo malaking amount, it is best kung isusulat niyo yan sa isang kontrata. Para may panghahawakan kayo, kahit pa boyfriend or girlfriend or friend niyo ang papautangin niyo.

Magbayad ng utang. Gawin  ito ng hindi na tayo umabot sa KILLING :D

joke :)

 

Gay moments in LRT2

Before that, I have a joke.

Use VIOLET in a sentence?

Shucks my pen doesn't have ink. 'di bale, I'll go to National Bookstore and VIOLET. :D
nye! :D

OK game.

Everyday, I take the LRT2. Before you get to the platform, of course you have to pass through a routine inspection. Sometimes, especially during rush hours, the line is so long that you have to think of something to do while waiting for your turn -- like read something.

So LRT2 authorities do just that, they give you something to read. They post a list of macho looking most wanted criminals and public enemies.

It is quite amusing that these posters of wanted criminals are pretty updated. Last year only faces of these public enemies can be seen. BUT NOW, VOILA! They already have BIG X marks, indicating their capture, death, or probably the government's loss of interest in them.

Sometimes, I wonder if the picture portraits of those wanted criminals are really them. I say this because one of the pictures looks like Manny Pacquiao. I'm not kidding, see for your self (third from the the top). Another picture looks like Jose of Eat Bulaga.

After a short wait, my time for my bag to be inspected comes.

The guard pretends to inspect my bag, but he is not really concerned with this. His real concern IS TO SMELL passengers. This creates discomfort for a lot of passengers.

The ways he does this, is first, he creates a very small isle for you to pass through -- so you have to walk sideways, thus your face points to his. Then he extends  his nose to your face to a point of an attempted kiss. He does this to see if you are smell like alcohol, and thus, deny your entry.

Whenever the guard does this "sniffing thing" -- I hate it. I have goose bumps every time this happens. It's an everyday gay moment with Mr. Guard.

But you see, they probably hate this part of their job, too. Imagine doing this for thousands of commuters everyday.

I'm glad I don't have their job, I don't have to deal with their hassle. I mean, you have to commend them somehow for doing their job, right? Before this kind of inspection, I've seen a lot of drunk passengers in the train leaving their biological stains.

But you know what, whatever! Even with this justification, this gay moment STILL sends chills to my spine.

A meek but violent god? A tragic irony.

In Mt. 5:5, Jesus said, “blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

In 1 Corinthians 4:21, it is said, “What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with gentle spirit?

In 2 Timothy 2:24, it was stated that “And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to knowledge of the truth.”

In Luke 23:34, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

This passages, show a picture of how we should carry ourselves in times trials and tribulations. It shows how we should frame our minds. That is -- opposed to harshness and contentiousness, and that shows itself in gentleness and tenderness in dealing with others.

However, compare these passages with other passages in the bible and you will find an irony.

 

[W]hen the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels, In flaming fire taking vengeance of them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ: Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord . . . (2 Thessalonians 1:7-9).

 

“[H]e that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him”(John 3:36).

 

 

In Leviticus 25:44-46, the Lord tells the Israelites it's OK to own slaves, provided they are strangers or heathens.

 

2) In Samuel 15:2-3, the Lord orders Saul to kill all the Amalekite men, women and infants.

 

3) In Exodus 15:3, the Bible tells us the Lord is a man of war.

 

4) In Numbers 31, the Lord tells Moses to kill all the Midianites, sparing only the virgins.

 

5) In Deuteronomy 13:6-16, the Lord instructs Israel to kill anyone who worships a different god or who worships the Lord differently.

 

6) In Mark 7:9, Jesus is critical of the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as prescribed by Old Testament law.

 

7) In Luke 19:22-27, Jesus orders killed anyone who refuses to be ruled by him.

Cruelty and Violence in the 1st Four Books of the Bible

Genesis

 

1. God likes Abel's dead animals better than Cain's fruits and vegetables. Why? Well, no reason is given, but it probably has something to do with the amount of pain, blood, and gore involved. 4:3-5

 

2. Because God liked Abel's animal sacrifice more than Cain's vegetables, Cain kills his brother Abel in a fit of religious jealousy. 4:8

 

3. God is angry. He decides to destroy all humans, beasts, creeping things, fowls, and "all flesh wherein there is breath of life." He plans to drown them all. 6:7, 17

 

4. God repeats his intention to kill "every living substance ... from off the face of the earth." But why does God kill all the innocent animals? What had they done to deserve his wrath? It seems God never gets his fill of tormenting animals. 7:4

 

5. God drowns everything that breathes air. From newborn babies to koala bears -- all creatures great and small, the Lord God drowned them all. 7:21-23

 

6. Noah kills the "clean beasts" and burns their dead bodies for God. According to 7:8 this would have caused the extinction of all "clean" animals since only two of each were taken onto the ark. "And the Lord smelled a sweet savor." 8:20

 

7. To free Lot from captivity, Abram sends an army of slaves to pursue and smite his captors. 14:14-15

 

8. God tells Abram to kill some animals for him. The needless slaughter makes God feel better. 15:9-10

 

9. Hagar conceives, making Sarai jealous. Abram tells Sarai to do to Hagar whatever she wants. "And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled." 16:6

 

10. Lot refuses to give up his angels to the perverted mob, offering his two "virgin daughters" instead. He tells the bunch of angel rapers to "do unto them [his daughters] as is good in your eyes." This is the same man that is called "just" and "righteous" in 2 Pet.2:7-8. 19:7-8

 

11. God kills everyone (men, women, children, infants, newborns) in Sodom and Gomorrah by raining "fire and brimstone from the Lord out of heaven." Well, almost everyone -- he spares the "just and righteous" Lot and his family. 19:24

 

12. God threatens to kill Abimelech and his people for believing Abe's lie. 20:3-7

 

13. God orders Abraham to kill Isaac as a burnt offering. Abraham shows his love for God by his willingness to murder his son. But finally, just before Isaac's throat is slit, God provides a goat to kill instead. 22:2-13

 

14. Dinah, the daughter of Jacob, is "defiled" by a man who seems to love her dearly. Her brothers trick all of the men of the town and kill them (after first having them all circumcised), and then take their wives and children captive. 34:1-31

 

 

Reality check: para sa young urban professionals*

Para sa mga nagtatrabaho at nagtrabahong tulad ko..at sa mga atat matawag na YUPPIE.. aminin man o hindi..LAHAT NG NAKASULAT DITO, TOTOO!!  ________________________________________________

Gising, Tol. Tumatanda ka na, tol. Nasa Magic Sing na yung mga paborito mong kanta. Napapanood mo na ang sarili mo sa YouTube. Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong child star dati. Mnikurista na lagi ang role ng kapatid ni badboy. Maitim na ang nasa White House ngayon. Dati, pag may panot, sisigaw ka agad ng "PENDONG!". Ngayon, pag may sumisigaw nun, ikaw na yung napapraning. Parang botika na ang cabinet mo. May multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly, (haha not applicable to me...yet!!) tsaka ginko biloba.

Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta, inihaw na liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa. Ngayon, nagkukumpulan na lang kayo ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at oorder ng latte. Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon.Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen, napalitan na ng walang katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kumpanya ninyo. Wala na ang best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may problema ka. Ang lagi mo na lang kausap ngayon e ang kaopisina mong hindi ka sigurado kung binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka. Ang hirap nang magtiwala. Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan. Hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina. Kung sabagay, nagkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng pera at umakyat sa tinatawag nilang "corporate ladder".

Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi talaga totoong pagkakaibigan. Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa. (this is a scary fact) Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo. Alipin ka na ng Meralco, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun. Alipin ka ng Midnight Madness. Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway. Alipin ka ng credit card mo.(oi hindi maxado..) Alipin ka ng ATM. (syempre nandun ang kakaramput kong "savings" e!) Alipin ka ng BIR. (oh yeah so there's BIR!!ughr!!) Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton. Ngayon, dapat may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucine alfredo mo.(yum! yum!)

Masaya ka na noon pag nakakapag-ober-da-bakod kayo para makapagswimming. Ngayon, ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang lugar. Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin pomelo. Ngayon, pagkatapos ng ilang bote ng Absolute, maghahanap ka ng San Mig Light o Vodka Cruiser. Wala ka nang magawa. Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo. Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas ang sweldo mo. (guilty of this one ) Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong hindi mo kailangan, abot-kamay mo na. Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin makuntento.

Saan ka ba papunta? Tol, gumising ka. Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang sa mga baterya ng mga machines nila Optimus Prime, Bumblebee o Megatron sa Transformers. Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung bakit nilagay ka rito. Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang hanggang maging singkwenta anyos ka na, magsisisi ka. Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga bagay na nagpasaya sa yo. Balikan mo sila. Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

*repost from vanjz.

Things To Say To A Hot Guy/Girl With A Really Ugly Girlfriend/Boyfriend -

Things To Say To A Hot Guy/Girl With A Really Ugly Girlfriend/Boyfriend 

1. "Pare, mahilig ka pala sa abstract…"

2. "Ay…lugi…"

3. "Tale as old as time…"

4. "Pare, ba't may ka-holding hands ka na lalaki?"

5. "Tamang-tama miss! Kamukha mo si Heidi Klum…at kamukha naman niya si Seal!"

6. "Sabi ko na nga ba eh, mahilig ka sa inner beauty."

7. "Uy, hindi pa pala extinct yung ganyan?"

8. "Idol mo si Andrew E. kaya ka humanap ng pangit?"

9. "Pare ilegal yan, i-surrender mo na yan sa DENR!"

10. "Masarap siya siguro magmahal, no?"

11. "Miss, hindi pa ba nagbabayad ng ransom ang mga relatives m0″

12. "Ikaw naman, nung sinabihan kitang be kind to animals, hindi naman ganyan!"

13. "Magkano inabot?"

14. "Uy, ang cute! Anong breed?"

15. "Aba, aba, aba, tru lab nga!"

16. "Wow, ang sarap i-photoshop!"

17. "Let me guess, mahaba ang dila niya, noh?"

18. "Sabi ko na nga ba, katawan lang ang habol mo eh!"

19. "Wow, ang sarap ng girlfriend mo…ang sarap sampalin!"

20. "Hoy, mag-sorry ka sa mga mata ko!"

21. "You know, it's unethical for a doctor to date his patients, especially if you're a vet."

22. "Pare, ano siya, mabait o mayaman?"

23. "Wow pare, naks, kamukha ni anne curtis ang girlfriend mo ah…sa Kampanerang kuba…"

24. "Wow, mukha palang ulam na! Ulam na panis!"

25. "Hindi ka na ba naawa sa mga magiging anak niyo?"

26. "Pare, Pinoy ka! Pinoy ka! Anong akala mo sa sarili mo, foreigner?"

27. "Nangangagat? Pwedeng hawakan?"

28. "Pare, minsan try mo din yung tao…"

29. "Pare, magiging swan ba yan sa ending?"

30. "Dad! Bilis! Tignan mo yung dala nung mama! Bilis, bigyan mo ng saging!"

6 Reasons to Make a Career Change

6 Reasons to Make a Career Change

Should a Career Change Be in Your Future?

By Dawn Rosenberg McKay, About.com
The average person can expect to change careers several times in his or her lifetime. One reason for all these career changes is that people often don't make informed choices. While making an informed decision regarding your career is a good way to help insure that the career you choose is right for you, it doesn't guarantee it. Even if you follow all the prescribed steps1 and choose a career that is right for you, it may not remain your best choice forever. Here are some reasons to consider leaving your current career for a new one.
You Should Consider a Career Change If ...

   1 * Your Life Has Changed: When you chose your career your life may have been different than it is today. For example you may have been single then and now you have a family. The crazy schedule or the frequent travel that is typical of your career may not suit your new lifestyle. You should look for an occupation that is more "family friendly."

    2* The Job Outlook in Your Field Has Worsened: Things looked promising for your field when you entered it. Due to changes in technology, the economy, or the industry you work in, job opportunities are no longer plentiful. You should look for an occupation that has a better outlook.

    3* You Are Experiencing Job Burnout2: Once upon a time you loved going to work everyday. You no longer feel that way. You can't stand doing your job anymore and changing employers hasn't helped. It could be time to find a career that will inspire you.

    4 Your Job is Too Stressful3: Some occupations are inherently stressful. After a while the stress can become too much to handle. To preserve your mental and physical health, you may have to find a career that is less stressful.

    5* You Find Your Work Boring: When you did your initial research, the occupation you ultimately chose had a lot of advancement opportunities. Now that you've been working in that field, you've climbed as far up the ladder as you can go, and you miss the challenges you once faced. A career change can provide you with the challenge you crave.

    6* You Want to Earn More Money: You may be surprised to learn that money isn't at the top of the list when it comes to job satisfaction. Therefore, don't be surprised if a career that will bring you higher earnings isn't one you will find particularly satisfying. That said, if other reasons are leading you to consider a career change, higher earnings should be something you consider when you choose a new career.

The Jam with Rocks to Rockets

6 Underground, Ortigas

The Jam With Rocks to Rockets

I was invited to play guitar for an upcoming band called Rocks to Rockets.


This was shot at 6underground, Ortigas.

Welcome Katas

I dub you, "Katas"
Katas of editing another person's legal papers which won 5 five digit figures, and was published in a journal somewhere.

Hope we get to have a lot of happy moments "Kat"

ZOOM GX1 MULTI FX GUITAR PROCESSOR WITH DRUM MACHINE

$129.00

Killer Guitar Tones!
The Zoom G1x gives you a tremendous selection of effects and amp models for an incredibly low price! The G1x employs Zoom's ZFX-3 DSP chip and a 96kHz sampling rate to deliver amazingly accurate models of tube harmonics. Its 24-bit AD/DA conversion offers excellent dynamic range. The G1x provides a variety of effects categories: Comp/EFX, Drive, EQ, ZNR/Amp modeling, Modulation, Delay, and Reverb. For added flexibility, the G1x sports an expression pedal for control over effects such as flange, wah, and other effects. It's loaded with 40 presets, many of which are modeled on the signature sounds of famous guitarists. The G1x will run for up to 12 hours continuously on four AA batteries and comes with an included AC adaptor.

Zoom G1x Guitar Effects Pedal at a Glance:

• 21 amp and stompbox models
  
• 54 high-quality effects
  
• Built-in drum machine
  
• Auto-chromatic guitar tuner

21 amp and stompbox models
By digitally simulating the clipping action of analog devices such as tubes and diodes, the G1x faithfully duplicates the distortion of tube amps and vintage effects. Choices range from models that made guitar history such as Fender, Marshall, and Vox to popular modern amps including Mesa Boogie, Peavey, and Diezel. An acoustic simulator is also included, so the G1x can make your electric instrument sound like an acoustic.

54 high-quality effects
The G1x provides a total of eight modules with 54 effect types ranging from standard to advanced. Duplicate the historic sounds of the MXR Dynacomp, Vox Wah, or Crybaby Wah. Apply EQ in three bands. Two types of chorus add spaciousness and depth. The G1x has five types of reverb to simulate the acoustics of a room or concert hall. The Harmonized Pitch Shifter can play along with you - all effects are designed for real-life musical applications. Use delay and echo settings with up to five seconds of delay time.

Built-in drum machine
The G1x offers realistic drum sounds derived from PCM samples, arranged in a variety of rhythm patterns for different musical genres. The 40 rhythm variations include steady 8-beats for rock and pop, funky 16-beats, jazzy 4-beats, shuffles for blues styles, and more. Rhythm training is easy, and a tap input lets you set tempos easily.

Auto-chromatic guitar tuner
The G1x's guitar tuner can be called up instantly by pushing the two footswitches together. High-brightness LED indicators make the note readout easy to see on a dark stage. Mute tuning - without a sound output - is also possible.


Zoom G1x Guitar Effects Pedal Features:

• Zoom ZFX-3 24-bit/96kHz digital multi-effects processor
  
• 54 Effects types/8 Modules
  
• 40kHz frequency response
  
• Built-in drum machine and harmonized pitch shifter
  
• 80 patches (40 user defined and 40 preset patches)
  
• Built-in Expression Pedal
  
• Operates on 4 AA batteries or included AC power adapter

http://www.fortmadisonguitars.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=181

Share a Seat, Win a Friend

Have you ever seen the "share a seat, win a friend" sign? I have yet to meet a person who actually won a friend just by sharing his extra seat.

I don't know who coined that phrase, but i do know it wasn't really meant to encourage camaraderie and friendship. It is a device to accommodate people in scrumpy places.

We all know why those signs are there. We don't believe it - but we still do what it says. We still share that extra seat out.

I don't know why, but it is probably because we have this hidden faith, even with just the slightest possibility,  that we might just win that friend, indeed!

It's like that feeling we get before opening a bag of Chickadee's  -- we anticipate that free toy; in the same way that we anticipate winning that free "friend."

vigan

Better than Bliss

My eyes are roaming out the room to find
Special someone out there meant for me
As I gaze at your smiling face 'so real
No words can express the way I feel

Can you know, that your touch
Saves me from being lonely
Can you hear, my heart
Beating you're my one and only
It's better than bliss
I don't know what it is
It's better than bliss
Girl I miss your kiss

Days and nights are cold when you're not with me
But I still remain so faithful, can't you see
Come caress my body longing for you
No one else can love me the way you do

I know you're there so far
'need you to be here
There is no other place
That I'd rather be...

Can you know, that your touch
Saves me from being lonely
Can you hear, my heart
Beating you're my one and only
It's better than bliss
I don't know what it is
It's better than bliss
Girl I miss your kiss


(Sabio, Nobleza, 2005)

kwarto -sugarfee

Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban

Oohh… Oohh…

Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo’y kailangan nang itapon

CHORUS
Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon

May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo’y nasaktan

REPEAT CHORUS

Mula ngayon

Ala-ala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya

Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto (4x)
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo(3x)
Magpapaalam na sa ‘yo ang aking kwarto

Nietzsche's concept of the error of the unknown

The Third Great Error

Continuing on from the last two posts, Herr Nietzsche now explains how the human desire for comfort lends to the perception of an "imaginary cause" that compensates a state of mind. In three sections, Nietzsche explains how one may take this action, the psychological reasoning behind it, and finally how it applies to concepts of morality and religion. In my interpretation, I understand it starting with someone who lacks or does not have a firm grasp on the laws of the natural world—natural causality. When someone blames something bad on the actions of a witch, some 'evil spirit,' or invokes the name of some deity to explain that which is unknown, are they not merely acting out of defense to comfort their state of mind—a compensation for a lack of knowledge on a certain matter? And upon what basis do people assume these causes and turn them into a fact—into memes? Pure imagination. Essentially, our perception of reality is incomplete or flawed, and that very fact disturbs us to the point that we should create something to fill the gap—to complete our perception and bring ourselves comfort. What is so bad about accepting that we are ignorant about certain things? What good is there in producing a guess or outright lie that may in fact be wrong? This is the error of our intellectual arrogance.

grabbed from: http://dailynietzsche.blogspot.com/2007/12/third-great-error.html

jumping jumping

Lahat na ata ng tao, may jumping pic. Ako nalang ang wala. Kaya naman, dahil ingittero ako, magpopost din ako ng sarili kong jumping picture!

left: me, center: jodan (jump pare! :) right: jeff :)

Don't Quit Poem by C. Howell

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all up hill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don't give up, though the pace seems slow; You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up. When he might have captured the victor's cup. And he learned too late, when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown.

my bro and me

Garbage - Why do you love me (Isle of MTV, Trieste)

20 ways on how you can save in Starbucks

Here's what I think all people should do to avoid giving their hard earned money to Starbucks.

1. The first rule -- "Don't go to Starbucks!"
2. If you are already in Starbucks, don't order anything.
3. If you have to order, buy the cheapest drink.
4. Milk is healthy and expensive. Ask for a cup of milk and every 5 minutes. Drink all the milk that you can.
5. Get more sugar than you need and bring it home.
6. Get as much tissue as you can, bring it home, or as a reserve in case of "emergency."
7. Get as much stirrer as you can. Use it to play pick up sticks.
8. Starbucks has this policy, that if you are not happy with your drink, they will "make it right." What you have to do, is to drink, 1/4 of your drink and tell the barista you are not happy with the way your drink tastes. Repeat as needed.
9. Use all the condiments. Vanilla powder, choco, cinnamon, etc.
10. Bring your own coffee stealthily placed in a Starbucks tumbler, or any tumbler.
11. Detox. Water is good for you. Drink as much water as you can.
12. Go to the toilet and take a dump.They have clean CRs, take advantage of this.
13. Clean is in.Use as much soap as much as you can in washing your hands.
14. Use as much water in the c.r. as needed.
15. Use the dryer.
16. Take advantage of the air con. Stay as long as you can.
17. Feed your mind. Read everything that is in the magazine stack.
18. Make friends. Get to chat with cute baristas.
19. Take advantage of the parking.
20. (your own suggestion here)

On Planners

I like planners.

Last Christmas and New Year, I received a lot of planners. Aside from planners I received as gift, I also had my Starbucks planner, Jollibee planner, Papemelroti planners and planners bought in National Bookstore, etc.

There's a great  feeling I get from looking at those aggregate of  planners. It gives me this great sense of purpose, of foreseeing goals. It gives meaning to the days ahead.

The sad part is that of all those planners I had, I can only choose one. It's senseless to use a lot of planners. Eventually, I had to let them go.

The Papemelroti planners I gave them away to my friends. My Starbucks planner I gave it to my sister. My Jollibee planner, I gave it to my brother, the executive planner, I gave to my father...

Before the end of the year, I had only one planner left with me. It's a small ugly black planner that was bought in National Bookstore. It is this black ugly planner that helped me plan the days of my 2007. And although it's not everyday that I get to plan my activities in that planner, just having that black ugly planner in my bag is already a big deal for me.

This Christmas and New Year, I hope I get a lot of planners again. Although it's impossible to use them all, and will probably give away most of them anyway; and that I will probably choose another small ugly planner again like i did last year, the fact that I have a lot of planners on my command gives me a great sense of joy.

I read somewhere that there are only three (3)  things we need in our lives.
1. someone to love
2. something to do
3. something to look forward to

I like planners because it satisfies number 3.

Great Blast bday pics 08

Birthday date with me, family, and friends.

I dedicate this song to myself

This song is mostly about the pain of knowing that a relationship
isn't what it should be. And how you need to let go and move on but the
relationship you thought you have built with that person still brings
you false hope.

Watch it in YOUtube or somethin'. Enjoy. :)

paramore -- that's what you get

No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore
It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score
And why do we like to hurt, so much?

I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

I wonder, how am I supposed to feel when you're not here
Cause I burned every bridge I ever built when you were here
I still try holding onto silly things, I never learn
Oh why, all the possibilities I'm sure you've heard

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating (beating)
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

Hey, make your way to me, to me
And I'll always be just so inviting
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me
Let's start, start, hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh why do we like to hurt so much?

That's what you get when you let your heart win!
Whoa

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

Now I can't trust myself with anything but this
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa

Learning to forget your unhappy past

Learning to forget your unhappy past

Ishani Ganguli Reuters

Friday, 13 July 2007

Whether memories can be suppressed has been a controversial issue in psychology and cognitive neuroscience for decades. Now researchers say they can teach people to forget (Image: iStockphoto)

People can be taught to suppress troubling memories by shutting down particular parts of their brain, scientists show.

They say their findings might lead to a way to help people with post-traumatic stress disorder or anxiety to gain control of debilitating memories.

"You're shutting down parts of the brain that are responsible for supporting memories," says Brendan Depue, a neuroscience doctoral student at the University of Colorado who worked on the study.

The concept of memory suppression has been a controversial one among psychologists for a century.

But in this study neuroscientists used brain scans to show that volunteers who have been asked to banish disturbing memories show very specific patterns of brain activity.

Depue and colleagues taught 18 adult volunteers to associate pictures of human faces with pictures of car crashes or wounded soldiers.

They were then shown each face a dozen times and asked to remember or forget the troubling image associated with each one.

When they worked to block a particular negative image, then looked at the face one last time, they could no longer name its troubling pair in about half of the trials, Depue and his colleagues report today in the journal Science.

The researchers used a brain imaging method called functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, which shows the brain's activity in real time, to track what was going on in the brain and obtained usable data from 16 of the 18 people in the trial.

Several steps in the process

In the test, parts of each volunteer's prefrontal cortex, the brain's control centre for complex thoughts and actions, were activated.

This seemed to direct a decrease of activity in the visual cortex, where images are usually processed.

Then the hippocampus, where memories are formed and retrieved, and amygdala, the emotion hub, were deactivated.

Denpue says that memory suppression may have been an evolutionary advantage, say for Stone Age hunters narrowly escaping death while hunting.

"If the hunter became so beleaguered by memories of that incident that he stopped hunting, then he would have starved to death."

Suppression therapy?

The research is still far from being translated to the psychiatrist's office, Depue and others acknowledge.

"In the first place, the stimuli may be unpleasant, but they are hardly traumatic," says the University of California Berkeley's Professor John Kihlstrom, who was not involved in the study.

"My prediction is it won't be as easy to suppress something that's long-standing and personally emotional," Depue says.

People with post-traumatic stress disorder are often troubled for decades by recurring images of a harrowing experience.

Still, patients might practice blocking such memories out of their minds, or at least reducing their emotional sting.

"It might be the case that people with memory disturbances have to gain some control over the memory representation by remembering it [and] trying a different emotional response to the memory before successful suppression," Depue says.

http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/2007/1977742.htm

How To Control Your Anger.

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.

What is Anger?

The Nature of Anger

Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

Expressing Anger

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

As Dr. Spielberger notes, "when none of these three techniques work, that's when someone—or something—is going to get hurt."

Anger Management

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

Are You Too Angry?

There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

According to Jerry Deffenbacher, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in anger management, some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

Is It Good To "Let it All Hang Out?"

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has found that "letting it rip" with anger actually escalates anger and aggression and does nothing to help you (or the person you're angry with) resolve the situation.

It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay

Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

• Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
• Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
• Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
• Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.

Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.

Problem Solving

Sometimes, our anger and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in our lives. Not all anger is misplaced, and often it's a healthy, natural response to these difficulties. There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to our frustration to find out that this isn't always the case. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn't come right away. If you can approach it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Better Communication

Angry people tend to jump to—and act on—conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Listen, too, to what is underlying the anger. For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your "significant other" wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don't retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.

It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger—or a partner's—let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

Using Humor

"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

The underlying message of highly angry people, Dr. Deffenbacher says, is "things oughta go my way!" Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!

When you feel that urge, he suggests, picture yourself as a god or goddess, a supreme ruler, who owns the streets and stores and office space, striding alone and having your way in all situations while others defer to you. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more chances you have to realize that maybe you are being unreasonable; you'll also realize how unimportant the things you're angry about really are. There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.

What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.

Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them.

Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself

Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don't turn into arguments.

Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm.

Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train.

Do You Need Counseling?

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on, and ask about his or her approach to anger management. Make sure this isn't only a course of action designed to "put you in touch with your feelings and express them"—that may be precisely what your problem is. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.

What About Assertiveness Training?

It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.

Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.

http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html