A Day I Went Jogging

I woke up at around 6 a.m. I want to jog. I do not know exactly where my feet will take me.

Next month I am planning to go on a long hike up north, so I thought this was a good chance to keep me fit.

Last night, I did one hour of treadmill but it was so boring so I figured out that this day, I will go out the streets for a real jog. This is a story of this morning's jog.












I put on my favorite black shoes.














I prepare my things, and extra shirt, towel and a jug of water.


















I hit the roads, warming up, trying to do some walking at first.
















Off to Katipunan




















Cat killed in action. Roadkill.


















A view of Marikina from Katipunan.


















Stopover to a church to say morning prayers.
















Footbridge in Katipunan
















Lost flowers in Katipunan.





















I will not eat here.

























To my destination.










I enter nonetheless.


















I am observing the observatory.

























Nostalgic moments. I walked this pavement almost everyday for 4 years back in college.











The good mother that adopted me. I miss you mom.














The garden that sinks.



















l am just trying to rest for a while in this tree.

















Pangs of hunger. I have something in mind...

















Perfect.














I never thought it could be done. But I did it.
 

My Island Vacation

When someone gives you free tickets to go to Bohol and Cebu all expenses paid, grab it.

That is what I did when my mum handed me Cebu Pacific plane tickets last week. Her motive is still a mystery to me, but I have to say I really enjoyed the whole trip.

Panglao Island is my destination. It is thirty minutes from the city of Tagbilaran and known for its fine beaches, great food, and world class dive sites.

I stayed at the famous Dumaluan Beach Resort. Considering I stayed at the island for four days, it is really a pocket friendly place.

Do not expect it to be a grand hotel, though. It does not offer 2 or 3 star accommodation, but for a 1,300 Php a night, the room is very clean, spacious, and comfortable. The room is air conditioned, minus the ref and TV, but considering its location and beach site, it deserves a salute.

Notice that the sand is so white. Is not really sand. They say it forms out of eroded corals. It is almost like powder.

The beach is shallow. From the water's edge, you can walk a couple of meters and still the the water is no deeper that your waist. But look under water with a pair of goggles or snorkeling set and you will see a community marine fish, live corals and a variety of starfish. I have never seen a beach as impressive.

I like the way the sun shines in that beach, it is not that hot. The rays of the sun are friendly.

I felt so relaxed just lying down in my chair with an IPod.

Conquering Bohol

There are two things in life that I cannot resist - eating and traveling. So, when my mom gave me tour tickets to Bohol and Cebu all expense paid, how can i resist?

Let me tell you something -- I fell in love with Bohol. It is an island like no other. The food is so gastronomically awe-inspiring. The sands of the beach so powdery white. The water is as clear  as bottled water. The people are super friendly.

I had a chance to meet the tarsiers. Went to see the chocolate hills, too. Seeing the hills with my eyes sent chills to my spine.  It sure was very different from what I have seen in Hekasi books back in elementary. It is like seeing your idol celebrity for the first time.

I wanted to stay there for a month. I certainly would if only for the logistic side of it.

If you want a great island vacation, consider  Bohol. People who have been there know what I mean . It is like seeing beauty from without, letting you see beauty from within.

Good Excuse is Better than None.

Today, I will wear my lucky shirt and my lucky jacket. I will bring my lucky drawing pen. I will pray for good luck and hope for the best.

But if by chance my wish does not come true, I will think of a good excuse. Not long ago, I heard someone say, "A good excuse is definitely better than none." I believe him.

There is a reason for everything.

sinong sasama ng Mt. Pulag with me?! Dec. 5

On Ordinary Diligence of a Good Father

The diligence required by law to every person may be either: Ordinary Diligence or Extra Ordinary diligence, depending on the nature of the obligation

Extra Ordinary Diligence means, "the diligence of a very cautious person as far as utmost human care and foresight can provide with a due regard for all the circumstances."

On the other hand, Ordinary Diligence simply means, "diligence of a good father of a family."

The term "diligence of a good father of a family" reminds us that in rendering our obligations to other persons, we should provide the care and caution that we would have otherwise done in the exercise of handling the affairs of our own family.

There are times when I wonder why such the "diligence of a good father'??? I mean, come to think of it  --

Why not, The diligence of "a good mother?" or;

Why not, The diligence of a "good girlfriend?";

Why not The diligence of a "good sister?";

Or why is it not The diligence of a "good woman?"

To think, oftentimes, it is the mothers who are more diligent than fathers. I mean, in a family setting for example, women are generally better in taking care the children, getting the groceries, preparing the meals, cleaning the house—women do these and more and all at the same time. Women are naturally born diligent multi-taskers and can run the household without breaking a sweat.

Mothers being women, tend to have gotten better grades in school. Women tend to learn faster and are keener on details. Women mature faster than men. Women tend to communicate their ideas better.

Mothers have better capacity to sympathize and are more sensitive to the emotional and physical concerns of the children. Mothers have better facilities in a parent-child relationship with regard to instruction and supervision a child. Mothers even have this special gift of "intuition" which men in general do not have.

While I do not think that Ordinary Diligence means "the diligence of a good father" is wrong. It seems to me that "the diligence of a good mother" JUST makes more sense nowadays.

Maybe it is time for our law makers to review this part of the Civil Code.

If such said provision had been stated as  "diligence of a good mother of the family," ordinary obligations would have probably made better sense. Persons would have probably practiced sounder judgments. Courts would have probably lesser cases to handle regarding specific performance of obligations.

If  "mother's diligence" had been the law, a person only has to remember how his mother rendered diligence, care, and sacrifice to provide for the family, and he would have known exactly what the law was all about.

Hindi na ako gagamit ng fountain pen sa exam, mas maganda talaga ang drawing pen.

Acoustic Enchantment

Joyce, Me, Bey and Bogs kick some ass at Bela Bar Greenhills.

Talent Fee

So recently a production entity staged a one night concert involving three bands. The arrangement is such that every customer will be charged a ticket. The proceeds of the ticket sales shall be distributed pro rata to each of the members of the bands that performed as his/her "talent fee."

After the show,  every band member, received his/her share of the talent fee - EXCEPT me.

I did not receive anything. Not even a drink. Not even a small meal to feed my hungry guitarist stomach -  and I will tell you why --  I waived my talent fee.

I do not play for money. I enjoy sharing whatever little talent that I have with people I love and care about. Such a little talent is my gift to humanity. The so called "talent fee" or any monetary compensation for my art is the very last thing in my mind.

However, for being part of the project, I had a very small tiny request to the organizers - my guests (guitar technician, P.A., girlfriend, and a very small number of friends) will not be charged a cent to be admitted, which is of course was granted.

The problem is this -  after the show I am told that I had a talent fee all along. That it was applied to credit my guest list, "as if"  to purchase an admission. I was further told that "if my guests have bought their own tickets, the price would have exceeded my talent fee." It is therefore correct and justifiable to conclude that I should not receive any talent fee at all.

This is downright  insulting.

Let me just clear a few things out before I move on for good.

First, I am not playing for money, my art is free. However it insults me to hear that the reason I do not have a talent fee was not because I WAIVED it, but instead, such talent fee was applied and credited to pay for my guests' entrance.

And I don't have to be told that "that If they had paid for their own tickets, it would have exceeded the talent fee I should receive." I told you, I do not care about the money.

The thing is, if I had known my guests will be charged anyway (thanks to my T.F.) I would not have accepted the gig. I have so much things to occupy my time with.

Or, if I had played nevertheless, I would have purchased them their own tickets out of my own pocket. At least they get real  tickets (instead merely being put in a guest list), they would have gotten their free beer, drink, or whatever other benefit.

This is not an issue of money. This is my issue of not liking how my compensation for the gig is construed as if I was the one who owes the production entity some big favor for bringing in a few people to watch our band play. Mind you, my guests are the very reason I agreed to be part of the project in the first place.

Five reasons not to play farmville.

Five reasons not to play farmville.

1. Farmville is based on real world money which i think is just stupid. Yes you can get coins but farm cash is extremely hard to get and you have to spend real world money to get lots of it. You need farm cash often for things like tractors etc.

2. The idea of having animals and trees is just stupid. Animals give you barely any coins and take a long time to re-spawn. And what the heck? Collect down feathers from ducks, angelic hair from rabbits and truffles from pigs???

3. The buildings and decorations are completely pointless. They have no use other then experience. If I were Farmville i would make the cottages earn you 15% more experience for farming or windmills to increase your guys speed etc. But they just stand there and do nothing
Read more in Games
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4. It has no plot-line, the only point is to level and the only achievements you can get is better seeds and it is not even fun to plant or collect your crops, it’s just time consuming and boring

5. It gets pointless. Yes, at first you get sucked in, wanting to get all the ribbons, all the trees and the animals and wanting to plant different crops, get buildings and beat your Friends. But finally when you do get all of this, which is in about a month if you try, the game stops having any point. You start thinking, great il have 10 million coins, and what will i do with those, buy 100 cottages and then what? There are no inter games in Farmville and nothing to do except for level and soon that becomes boring.

So Don’t Waste a month of your life sitting for hours waiting for your crops to grow just because your freinds are doing it. Quit it and insated write on Triond.com to get enough money to buy a good game like COD4!

http://gameolosophy.com/games/five-reasons-not-to-play-farmville/

Baha

Sasakyan at gas.

Nakakatuwa. Napakaganda ng advise ng kaibigan ko minsan na nagusap kami.

Sabi niya,  lahat daw tayo ay parang sasakyan. Ang motivation daw ay parang gas.

Kung walang gas, hindi aandar ang sasakyan.

Kaya naman pala hindi ako umaandar dati. Wala akong gas.

Pero ngayon, iba na ang sitwasyon - baliktad na. Naguumapaw ang gas na para bang hindi na mauubos.

Saan tayo next na pupunta?? Excited na ako.

Always use po and opo, salamat po.

may mga bagay na hindi mo alam kung bakit mo ginagawa, pero ginagawa mo parin...

Consciousness

While drinking my coffee yesterday, something happened to me - I transcended in the state of consciousness.

A wave of familiarity and mystery flowed through my body. Right there, right then, I became  aware of everything.

My coffee was suddenly more than it seemed. I noticed the simplest things that make it up. It was a black liquid, hot, sweet, and aromatic.

I noticed everything around me. I can feel. I'm alive. I can think. I can absorb information. Everything was so new. It was as if it was my first day on earth. It was a great feeling of enlightenment. It was a direct subjected experience. It was a feeling of expanded comprehension.

But then, with this surge of consciousness came along waves of overwhelming confusion. I began to doubt deeply. How did I recognize all these things? Where does this knowledge come from? Why am I here? What is my purpose? Is this just a dream? Is this real? What is truth? Where do all this questions come from? Millions of questions pierced my eyes twice the speed of light.

I couldn't seem to go on. It was as if I was a prisoner of my own thoughts. I was paralyzed. The happiness I felt as consciousness unfolded itself was replaced by deep melancholy. I know that if I stayed in my surreally wonderful state of consciousness for too long, I will simply wilt and die.

The next thing I remember was I washing  my coffee cup and did the things I had to do for the rest of the day. I didn't think, I didn't question. I didn't let my consciousness take over me. I just let things be, as they are. This state is safer for now. I guess to be able to go on in life, sometimes consciousness must settle down completely.

left brain right brain

THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.


LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking



hmmm..  I KNEW IT! Sabi ko na nga ba. Right brain dominant ako.






http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22556281-661,00.html

Act of God

In life two things can happen -- an act of man or, an act of God.

I sure did exercise extra-ordinary diligence, but what happened today was out of my control.

In French, it is called force majure, in Latin, casus fortuitus, in Taglog,  it is kaloob ng Diyos.

If I wasn't able to fulfill my obligation in its normal course, I'm sorry.

It was the act of God that prevailed.

Worry is the misuse of imagination.

gusto ko ng seedless atis...

"The harder you train, the easier the fight." - Manny Pacquiao

Our first duty in life is not to be poor.

Happiness is a Carrot on a Stick

Me and my dad were driving along Espana Boulevard when he asked me how was my retreat. I told him it was great and that if there was one thing that I learned, it would have to be this: "Happiness is a carrot on a stick."

I was about to tell him what it was all about when he suddenly cut me in the middle of my sentence to ask, "What stick?" (I was about to get to that dad!) but before I could answer, I realized that we have reached my destination. It was time for me to alight the car.

What's the point? Well... nothing. I just wanted to waste three paragraphs. (Kidding.)

"Carrot on a stick"  refers to a policy of offering a combination of rewards and punishment to induce behavior.

In this case, the driver would tie a carrot on a string to a long stick and dangle it in front of the donkey, just out of its reach. As the donkey moved forward to get the carrot, it pulled the cart and the driver so that the carrot would always remain out of reach.

"Happiness is a carrot on a stick" is about man's struggle to seek for happiness after happiness. For every step we move forward -- so does the carrot. Our happiness always seems to be at some destination we cannot reach; so we are never truly happy. It is a process that goes on and on.

"Happiness is a carrot on a stick" is the perfect picture of how life should NOT be lived --  happiness perceived as a destination.

Happiness should not be delayed until the end of the stick is reached. Happiness is as such. It starts the very moment it is claimed. As Buddha claimed, life is perfect as such. If we keep on seeking for happiness, we will never find it -- because searching is the antithesis for happiness.

Retreat

I just got home from a retreat. For three days, I was drowned in solitude, silence, simplicity, and prayer.

It is interesting that the word "retreat" also means "to give up" -- but more than a mere surrender,  it specifically means "to give up so you can go on."

Just like the Trojan War, the Greeks had to retreat because they were losing the battle. They had to rethink of a plan to beat the Trojans. With their retreat, came a war winning idea --  to send a Trojan Horse.

Thanks to this retreat, I now feel renewed and refreshed. I now find peace and serenity remembering what this fight was all about  -- my visions and convictions: the things I believe in and the things I am willing to die for.

bitter to better

i be out for 3 days recollecting.

i want to microwave my highlighter, book, shoes, barong, and socks just to see what will happen.

Instant Buddhism

Unlike other religions, all a person needs to do to be a Buddhist is to be fan of Buddha. Being a fan of Buddha is easy. His core teaching basically revolves around the Four Fold Truth and the Eight Fold Path.

Buddha teaches how to recognize the state of mind that produces unsatisfactory reaction to our understanding of reality. He's goal is to show us how we can get out of a condition of suffering and instead be totally present in a moment of pure happiness.

All of our lives, we were made to believe that happiness comes from doing things -- avoiding pain, accumulating wealth, seeking pleasure. But Buddha realized that there is a difference between pleasure and happiness. He realized that there are certain truths that we avoid that in the end, do not really make us happy. He says only through understanding and acceptance of the truth can a person find real happiness.

Buddha presents a road to happiness by making us aware of the foremost disease of life -- suffering. He elaborates this in what Buddhists now know as the "Four Noble Truths":

1. This is a life of suffering.
2. The cause of this suffering is desire.
3. To cure suffering, you must end desire.
4. To end that desire we must follow the "eight fold path."

The eight fold path is this:

1. Appropriate View
2. Appropriate Intention
3. Appropriate Speech
4. Appropriate Action
5. Appropriate Livelihood
6. Appropriate Effort
7. Appropriate Mindfulness
8. Appropriate Concentration

Buddhism offers an alternative perspective on life. It offers self introspection and understanding. It is a practice of ethical living. The advantage of ethical living is living a life without remorse or fear. It is a feeling of wellness and good will towards everything. It develops our loving kindness towards others that leads to lesser stress and more harmonious life.

"Tu a que te dedicas?"

Lately someone asked me, "What do you do?"

I wanted to answer back, "What do you care?" but I thought this might be a little rude, so I instead gave him a straight answer.

Maybe you ask this question a lot too, especially at  times you are reunited with your college friends or relatives.

The thing is, for a lot of people, "What do you do?" is  a source of insecurity. For a lot people who are not happy with how their precious time are spent, answering this question is not pleasurable at all.

"Anong trabaho mo?" similarly is quite burdensome. The word trabaho  means to labor for money. It makes you think that working for money is supposed to be very hard -- which should not be the case.

Perhaps a better way to ask "what do you do?" is to ask it in Spanish:

"Tu a que te dedicas?"

Literally means "What are you dedicated (to)?" In context it means, "What are you doing for life? Or "To what endeavor do you dedicate your life to?"

It is a beautiful question because it makes you reflect on whether you are spending your life doing the right thing.

Dedication is the key to a very successful career. Dedication means one has found his purpose for working. It means love for work. It means passion, perseverance, and inspiration for work. It means security, confidence, and contentment.  Dedication means giving a deeper meaning to your chosen career.

The next time you bump with a friend, do him a favor. Instead of asking him "What do you do?" ask him "Tu a que te dedicas?" or simply, "To what endeavor do you dedicate your life to?"

Fever

What is fever?

Two days ago, I exhibited symptoms of what seems to be flu: muscle aches, runny nose, coughing, and increase in body temperature.

I took this very seriously because of the H1N1 scare. I thought I might be candidate for one. I didn't hesitate to go to the doctor the very next day.

But the night before, I prudently and continuously monitored every symptom I have and my body's reaction to different kinds of over the counter medicine. I also researched on the symptoms of H1N1 and learned that aside from common symptoms of flu, diarrhea and vomiting are two of the  prominent indications of  "the dreaded virus" -- which i didn't have.

The next day at the clinic, I showed my pulmonologist my hourly plot of my body temperature the night before which ranged from 36.4 to 37.4 C and with esteem I told him, "Doc, I have fever.. and this and that symptoms...."

He cautiously studied my "hourly plot" and said, "No, you don't have  fever. A person who has fever has  least a temperature of 37.5 C..."

He said that what I have is a simple respiratory track infection, and after checking my temperature again, (37 at that moment) he said, all I needed to do was to rest, drink lots of water, and take my daily dose of vitamin C.

And so that day, I learned that in adults, a temperature over about 100 F is considered a fever. That's about at least 37.7777778 degrees Celsius or roughly, as the doctor said, 37.5 C.

Thank God I didn't have a fever! (my temperature was short of 0.1 degree Celsius). And thank God I am cleared of flu A(H1N1).

Immediately right after, I went home and treated everyone to McDonald's and ice cream.

On Education

"An educated man is not, necessarily, one who has an abundance of general or specialized knowledge. An educated man is one who has so developed the faculties of his mind that he may acquire anything he wants , or its equivalent, without violating the rights of others.

A man is educated who knows where to get knowledge when he needs it, and how to organize that knowledge into definite plans of action. It is not essential that he have this knowledge in his own mind."

 - Napoleon Hill.

I'm a Secret Fan of Michael Jackson

Yeah, you got that right. I'm into Jackson music. When I was in elementary, I was known in our school as a metal rocker. I could shred heavy metal guitar solos and had a wide collection of rock records of  Metallica, Megadeath, Pink floyd, Kiss, and Led Zep, you name it, I probably have it. You can say I was some sort of guru of rock and roll back then.

Little did my classmates and co-heavy rockers know that sometimes, when I am alone, I listen to Michal Jackson music and practice the moonwalk. I even wrote Michael Jackson a letter and sent it to his fan club.

Michael Jackson was like a drug to a lot of people like me -- a lot are addicted to his music and yet no one admits. And so it came to me as a surprise when I learned the King of Pop is dead.

Farewell Michael Jackson. Your music (and finger pointing, crouching, high-kicking, splay-footed, crotch-grabbing, moonwalking style) will be remembered forever.

What is Sociology Anyway?

When you are new on a job or a new in graduate school, the perennial question people ask is this:

"What was your course back in college?"

And of course I tell them, "Sociology."

This is almost always followed up by another question, "What is Sociology anyway?" "I never quite got what a Sociologist actually do..."

Of course I say, "Sociology studies human social behavior, especially the study of the origins, organization, institutions, and development of human society; Sociology studies social institution or societal segment as a self-contained entity or in relation to society as a whole.

As I explain this, it is almost always the conversation follows a long pause, as if people did not quite understand what I was talking about.

It's hard to make people appreciate the course. It takes so much reading, research, and meditations to actually appreciate the art.

I guess the first step in appreciating Sociology is through Sociological Imagination.

Coined by C. Wright Mills in 1950's, he argued that ‘nowadays men often feel that their private lives are a series of traps’ . Mills maintained that people are trapped because ‘their visions and their powers are limited to the close-up scenes of job, family [and] neighborhood’, and are not able to fully understand the greater sociological patterns related to their private troubles.

A lot of times people feel that they are trapped because they feel that they are so consumed with their personal lives. People feel that this life is a mere  trajectory, a mere routine, a mere series of personal events. It is common that they feel this  is a dog eat dog world, a rat race, a personal struggle to be solved.

Yet, if you look at it in a different perspective, "Neither the life of an individual nor the history of a society can be understood without understanding both" (Mills, 1956)

This understanding is what Mills calls the Sociological Imagination: the 'quality of mind' which allows one to grasp "history and biography and the relations between the two within society"

Ordinary people do not possess the quality of mind essential to grasp the interplay of man and society, of biography and history, of self and world." It is only with this interconnectedness of society and the individual that we can truly understand and possibly solve societal or individual problems/issues.

Sociology probably can not be contained in a single definition. Its meaning may vary from one experience to another. But one thing that all sociologists share is the ability to look beyond one’s own everyday life as a cause for daily successes and failures and see the entire society in which one lives as potential cause for these things.

For me, it seems that Sociology is about reading, feeling, and understanding a lot -- and then reading, feeling and understanding some more. For me, it is about fighting for what is  right and just. It is about questions to be answered and answers to be questioned so that at the end of the day -- we may gain epistemically and be in a position to make better choices in life.

Schedule your comebacks.

"Progress toward your goals is never gonna be a straight line; it'll always going to be a wavy line. You'll go up and come down a little. Two steps forward and one step back. Now most people get discouraged when they take the two steps back, they think they're failing. But they really haven't. They really in sync with the natural rhythm of progress. Now once you understand this rhythm, you can look ahead on your calendar to refresh, renew, and recover. Schedule your comeback while you're on top. Schedule a block of time to get away. Even to get away from what you love. Because coming back is gonna be that much more exciting when you've been renewed."

- Steve Chandler
http://www.scribd.com/doc/904961/100-Ways-to-Motivate-Yourself

Fire distinguisher

Yesterday, on my way home, I was in the LRT  and overheard two teachers  talking about a fire incident that happened at their school. Apparently, they were ranting because their principal was very disappointed with them. Students, while the fire incident broke out, were very unorganized and in complete restlessness. Some students even went back to the site where the fire broke out to retrieve their things.

One of the teachers said:

"Baliwala yung... (hesitates) fire distinguisher, hindi naman kasi natin abot, hindi din natin alam gamitin!"

The other teacher replied, "Oo, nga. Nagseminar pa nga tayo kung paano gamiting yung fire distinguisher na yan, pero hindi din naman natin kasalanan kung bakit nagkagulo yung mga bata ng ganon. Buti nalang napatay nila sunog agad. Pero, sana nasunog nalang yung room para narenovate lahat..." They both giggled as they alighted out of the train.

I had my own giggle, too!

It's the first time I heard of a device that distinguishes fire.

Do you know how to use a "fire distinguisher?" -- Well, I don't.

I will learn to use it as soon as possible. We'll never know where the next fire might happen.

Happy Birthday H1N1 virus

I though I've just discovered a remedy for Swine Flu.

Before class I went to the CR to compose my self. There I saw my friend  washing his hands while singing "Happy Birthday to You."  

I wondered if it is his birthday, but before I had an opportunity to ask, he left. He was late for class.

A while ago I received an information that San Beda has just confirmed its first case of Swine Flu and that the school will be closed for 10 days.

I panicked. I don't want to get infected.

And just like a lighted bulb. A spark of idea came to me.

You can sing "Happy Birthday to You" while washing your hands. It  takes about 15 seconds of applying soap to ensure that hands are clean. Singing happy birthday takes just about the same length of time. You will know your hands are clean when you are done singing.

If you don't want to sing Happy Birthday, you may instead opt to sing
Ba Ba Black Sheep or Twinkle Twinkle as they all share the same melody anyway.

I just thought I've stumbled upon a really good idea. Not until I saw a tarpaulin outside our school that recommends exactly the same thing.

I realised that's the reason why my friend was singing Happy Birthday a while ago in the first place.

My idea wasn't original after all.

Right at that moment my imaginary "light bulb" at the side of my head flickered and became totally dim and dark again.

The Right to Die

Lately, I have been having bad dreams about the many ways to die. Every time this happens, I wake my self up, because I'm scared. This causes me sleepless nights.

K.I.A. or killed in action is a military jargon for dying in the line of duty. For many who have dedicated their lives for a cause, this means dying with honor.

If you have seen Forrest Gump, there was a scene there where Lieutenant Dan was badly injured in battle. Forrest Gump was saving Lieutenant Dan but Lt. Dan wanted to die on the spot. To quote:

Lt. Dan: Now, you listen to me. We all have a destiny. Nothing just happens, it's all part of a plan. I should have died out there with my men! But now, I'm nothing but a goddamned cripple! A legless freak. Look! Look! Look at me! Do you see that? Do you know what it's like not to be able to use your legs?

Forrest: Well... Yes, sir, I do.

Lt. Dan: Did you hear what I said? You cheated me. I had a destiny. I was supposed to die in the field! With honor! That was my destiny! And you cheated me out of it! You understand what I'm saying, Gump? This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. I had a destiny. I was Lieutenant Dan Tyler.

Forrest: Yo-You're still Lieutenant Dan.

This scene asks us a very important question: whether or not we have the right to die.

The right to die has in its core the concept of dying with dignity. But how can someone die with dignity? This might seem an oxymoron, but it is true, there seems to be ways to die "better."

Spartans of ancient Greece take great pride in dying in battle. Iraqi suicide bombers use their bodies in the cause of  freedom. Mothers sacrifice their lives for their unborn children. These are regarded as very honorable ways of dying.

Much less dignity is afforded by children who die out of hunger in Africa, those who are killed mistakenly with no reason at all, and those who are tortured before dying.

The trajectory of life is that one day we will all die, but when that time comes, I want to die with honor and dignity.

Let it be known that I want to end my life well.

As my favorite philosopher Gracian writes:

"If you enter the house of Fortune through the door of pleasure, you will leave through the door of sorrow, and vice versa. So be careful of the way you end things, and devote more attention to a successful exit than to a highly applauded entrance. Fortunate people often have very favorable beginnings and very tragic endings. What matters isn't being applauded when you arrive -- for that is common -- but being missed when you leave. Rare are those who are still wanted. Fortune seldom accompanies someone to the door. She is a courteous to those who are coming as she is rude to those who are going."

Anyway, as to my dreams of death, it seems that for many cultures, it is unlikely to forecast an actual event, rather, death dreams seem to  represent the ending of one phase of life so that a new one can begin.

If this were true, I am excited. I like new beginnings and surprises.

Darts.

Professors are paid a great deal of money to teach and to give  fair grades.

Sadly, some professors, who are not in any way worthy of the academic title "professor,"are synonyms for book parrots.

What's worse, when the semester is over,  these "so called" profs play a game called "dart-a-grade."

I didn't believe it  until I saw it with my very eyes. Darts are real. It has  happened, is happening, and will happen again. It targets students indiscriminately at the most unexpected times.

Pray if you must. Seek for the intercession of your saints. Be humble, because you'll never know, you just might be the target of the next dart.

Extracting the Sweet From the Bitter

Only an espresso machine can extract the sweet crema from the bitter coffee, that's why, I am saving up to buy an "espresso machine" to replace, for good, my hassle, unreliable, and wasteful "coffee press."

Espresso is a concentrated coffee beverage brewed by forcing hot water under pressure through ground coffee. A distinguishing characteristic of espresso is the crema - a caramel  foam that floats on the surface and traps and holds the finest coffee oils and aromas that in other brewing processes are lost.  If you know good coffee, you know crema. A good crema undoubtedly means a good espresso.

And just like an espresso machine, I extract the sweet from the bitter. Like in the same way, I transform lemons to lemonade, stumbling blocks to stepping stones, loss to lesson, difficulties to opportunity, and oppression to justice.

Yes, it might have been a bitter arbitrariness that I have tasted, but from that bitterness, I will extract my sweet success -- just like how an espresso machine extracts crema out of bitter beans.

Lessons from Poker

I won my first million chips in Facebook today .

I fell in love with the game of poker from the first time I learned to play it, perhaps because the game is more like life itself -- the drama of life unfolds with every turn of a card.

Since I have reached this far in "the game." I have no further intentions of pursuing another million chips. The game does not appeal to me anymore. I have done enough for the game, and for this, I am officially retiring. I'd probably just give away my chips, especially to those who helped me during my "darkest poker times."

In my quest for my first million. I have learned a lot of lessons from poker as in life, which I hope you can learn from, too.
 
Life is both luck and skill, in the short run, "luck" prevails, but in the long run "skill"  triumphs.

Don't bluff, but don't be totally honest either.

Be patient, composed, and calm

To get better, practice and study.

Look for patterns.

Never make an important decision when you're tired or have recently consumed alcoholic beverages.

Stick to your level of stakes you are comfortable with.

While you're at it, you might as well enjoy the game.

Poker is a game of empathy. It is a game of understanding others' intent and motives so that  you can arrive at correct decisions. In a sense, Poker teaches us a lot about life. It develops discipline, critical reasoning, management of finances, strategy building, tactical implementation of the strategies - all are useful not only in life but also in any game that you want to pursue.

on taking shots

"You miss 100% of the shots you didn't take" - w. gretzky

Normal

Today, I feel normal.

These past few days, I had been sick. My doctor says i had pneumonia which is  probably due to a weak immune system caused by  bad habits, sleepless  nights, stress, and  emotional imbalances. But today is different because for the first time in many months, i feel normal.

I am cured of pneumonia. It was easy. All I had to  do was to take this 200 peso antibiotic drug twice daily for a week. I spent around 3 thousand pesos for the meds. It is a lot of money for me considering I am a mere minimum wage earner; although, it could have been more expensive if I had gone worse and I ended up in the hospital.  I am thankful to God for that.

You know, what's weird is that I really believe  there is something in the  ingredient of my antibiotic drug that cured me of more than just my pulmonary abnormality. It brought back something that I lost, something that I have been trying to find for so long - my self.

I don't know what it is, but it had a funny effect on me. For the first time in many, many months I felt the core of my being - the naked me - stripped out of desires and passions. Today, I'm just in tune with my self, my spirit, my Being. I am steady and stable. There's no longing for anything.  The vices don't appeal to me nor other worldly pleasures. I am not worried about my past, nor my future. I am not sad. I am not happy either. I'm just normal, perfectly normal.

Ironically, i know,  this feeling of being "perfectly normal" will pass, too. Soon I will be back to the real world. A world of roller coaster emotions, a world of neediness, arbitrariness, opportunity and pessimism. A world of chaos and order, light and darkness, freedom and restraint.

Soon, I'll be back playing  the game again. A game of losers, winners, expectations,  risk, stakes, prize and loss.

But today for now, I don't have to bother my self with the world and the game. Now, I will simply rejoice and be glad because for the first time in a long long time, I am fine and am perfectly normal.

On Ego

"People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness, that is to say, dependent on form.  They don't realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe.  It changes constantly.  They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have.  And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that is always already here, that lies beyond what is happening or not happening, beyond form."

from "A New Earth"
by Eckhart Tolle

You Are Probably Killing Yourself

Chapter 1 Lost and Found

Nagising ako ng maaga ngayon para pumunta sa ninang ko na doctor.

Balak ko sana siyang dalahan ng cake dahil alam ko na hindi siya nagpapabayad kaya dumaan muna ako sa Chocolate Kiss.

Pagdating ko sa Chokiss, wala silang tindang na buong cake, puro tingi lang.  Alangan naman magdala ako ng cake sa ninang ko na isang or dalawang piraso lang.  Baka isipin niya dinekwat ko yung ibang parte ng cake.  Hindi nalang ako bumili.  Naisip ko baka meron mabibilhan along the way, wala pala...

Nagtaxi nalang ako kasi tinatamad ako maglakad ng malayo.  Sabi ko sa driver sa Tandang Sora.

Nawala ako.  Iba ang dinaanan ng driver.  At wala akong idea kung nasang parte ako ng Tandang Sora.  Palayo na ako ng palayo, kaya bumaba nalang ako KUNG SAAN at naisip ko sumakay nalang ng KUNG ANONG jeep...

Pagkatapos ng isang mahaba at matrapik na biyahe, tumigil na ang jeep sa terminal niya.  nagbabaan na lahat ng mga tao.  Wala akong choice kundi bumababa narin.

Naglakad lakad ako ng konti.  Nagulat ako sa tuamambad sakin.  CHENEN!  Eureka!  Yung clinic ng ninang ko nasa tapat ko!  WOW Magic!  Hindi ko alam kung paano nangyari yon.  It must be some kind of power.

Chapter 2 Ako si Bonjing

Nakalimutan ko pala sabihin na yung Ninang ko ay isang Pediatrician.  Nakakatawa yung sumunod na eksena, dahil pagdating ko sa clinic niya, ang daming BATA, BABY, TODLERS, NANAY, TATAY, YAYA na nakapila.  Apparently, ako lang ang BAGETS, yebah!

Kinausap ko yung assistant ng clinic at sabi ko magpapatingin ako kay doctora.  Pinafill-up niya ako form na may picture ng baby at iba pang mga cute things.  May checklist din kung "Breast-fed ka o Bote"

Tinawag ako ng assistant ni doc.  Para magtimbang.  Tinanggal ko yung sapatos ko.  Kailangan ko yumuko para hindi mauntog sa cabinet.

Binigyan din ako ng nurse ng termometer para ipasok ko sa kilikili ko.

Feeling ko, ang Bonjing ko.  Nagmukha akong damulag doon.  Nakipaglaro din ako sa mga bata, kasi sila yung lumalapit sakin :D (si Bonjing ay isang pelikula tungkol sa isang isip bata na malaking tao na ginampanan ni Jimmy Santos.)


Chapter 3 Something to kill yourself

 Chineck up ako ni doc.  Dinikit niya yung stethoscope at pinahinga niya ako.  "Very good" daw ako huminga.  DUH, hindi naman mahirap huminga.

Sabi niya may Bronchal Pneumonia daw ako.  (Bakit kaya ang hirap iispell ang pneumonia?  Naisip ko lang ang daming silent letters pwede naman "nmnia" or "numonya" I hate words with silent letters, try mo nga spell ang hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia!!!!) hehehe Anyway, uminom daw ako ng antibiotic, yun lang ang kailangan ko gawin at gagaling na ako.  Ang mahal isang daan isang tableta.  Namulubi ako.  Alam mo naman minimum wage earner lang ako.

Buti nalang daw naagapan, kung hindi, sa ospital daw ako pupulutin.  Hahaha..  parang basura lang ako..  pinupulot.  Sabi niya "alam mo iho kaya ka nagkapneumonia, you are doing something..  probably killing your self..." sabay nag grin siya.

Ok na..  naresetahan na ako.  Nagthank you, at nagbabye na kay doc ninang.

Nastuck saakin yung sinabi niya.  "you are probably killing yourself"

Meron siyang alam sakin.  Meron siyang narinig or nakita at nalaman niya na may ginagawa ako that is killing me na nagresult sa pneumonia ko.

Nagets ko ang gusto niyang sabihin.  Kailangan ko na magbago.  Kung ano man yung source ng sakit ko,  kailangan ko ng baguhin ang attitude ko towards health. 

Wake up call para sakin, at siguro sayo din.

life is the dancer and i am the dance

I am one with life.

How to get what you want.

Luke 11:5-13

[5] Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, [6] because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' [7] "Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me.  The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed.  I can't get up and give you anything.' [8] I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.

[9] "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  [10] For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

[11] "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  [12] Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  [13] If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"